The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.

a cat named frankenstein

2012-02-11T21:22:00.000-05:00

one of my favorite photos I took from my most recent excursion, in which I promise to post on here soon...

another saturday night, and i ain't got nobody, the heating pad's warm and it keeps me sane, how i wish i had an able body, i'm in an average way.

where the original rough riders passed through...

2012-02-09T22:23:00.001-05:00

photos from ybor city coming soon!

you can do me no harm

2012-02-07T19:30:00.001-05:00

Most people would be thrilled to know, I don't drink a lot anymore, but on a night or two during the week (moreso on nights where early awakening for work the next morn is not necessary) have a couple diet coke and rums, and get a little silly about things. This being one of those moments, admittance comes easy:
I do feel silly lately. silly elated, silly hopeful, silly in love. I've admitted it to myself and it's really happening. Both having had many past catastrophes, there's a lot to work through. I'm really thankful that he's so willing to help me attack my worst insecurities that have just built up for what seems forever. Many times I tend to agree to things I'm not comfortable with, and he's seemingly getting a grasp on the fact that happens, and gives me the chance to really put my foot down, eventually... it just might take a millisecond, or an entire day or two later.
put rather simplistically: I'm happy. (Give it a second, though. ;] )

it's okay, dave...

2012-02-06T15:26:00.001-05:00

am in the middle of season three of league of gentlemen, which was unfortunately their last. this stuff is so freaky, disgusting, and hilarious, all wrapped up in one little wonderful place called Royston Vasey!

(Tubbs finding out non-local places!)

"This is a local shop, for LOCAL people!"

'public relations masterpiece.'

2012-02-05T17:20:00.001-05:00

The Illusion of Asymmetric Insight by David McRaney

The Misconception: You celebrate diversity and respect others’ points of view.
The Truth: You are driven to create and form groups and then believe others are wrong just because they are others.

Source: "Lord of the Flies," 1963, Two Arts Ltd.

In 1954, in eastern Oklahoma, two tribes of children nearly killed each other.
The neighboring tribes were unaware of each other’s existence. Separately, they lived among nature, played games, constructed shelters, prepared food – they knew peace. Each culture developed its own norms and rules of conduct. Each culture arrived at novel solutions to survival-critical problems. Each culture named the creeks and rocks and dangerous places, and those names were known to all. They helped each other and watched out for the well-being of the tribal members.
Scientists stood by, watchful, scribbling notes and whispering. Much nodding and squinting took place as the tribes granted to anthropology and psychology a wealth of data about how people build and maintain groups, how hierarchies are established and preserved. They wondered, the scientists, what would happen if these two groups were to meet.
These two tribes consisted of 22 boys, ages 11 and 12, whom psychologist Muzafer Sherif brought together at Oklahoma’s Robber’s Cave State Park. He and his team placed the two groups on separate buses and drove them to a Boy Scout Camp inside the park – the sort with cabins and caves and thick wilderness. At the park, the scientists put the boys into separate sides of the camp about a half-mile apart and kept secret the existence and location of the other group. The boys didn’t know each other beforehand, and Sherif believed putting them into a new environment away from their familiar cultures would encourage them to create a new culture from scratch.
He was right, but as those cultures formed and met something sinister presented itself. One of the behaviors which pushed and shoved its way to the top of the boys’ minds is also something you are fending off at this very moment, something which is making your life harder than it ought to be. We’ll get to all that it in a minute. First, let’s get back to one of the most telling and frightening experiments in the history of psychology.

Sherif and his colleagues pretended to be staff members at the camp so they could record, without interfering, the natural human drive to form tribes. Right away, social hierarchies began to emerge in which the boys established leaders and followers and special roles for everyone in between. Norms spontaneously generated. For instance, when one boy hurt his foot but didn’t tell anyone until bedtime, it became expected among the group that Rattlers didn’t complain. From then on members waited until the day’s work was finished to reveal injuries. When a boy cried, the others ignored him until he got over it. Regulations and rituals sprouted just as quickly. For instance, the high-status members, the natural leaders, in both groups came up with guidelines for saying grace during meals and correct rotations for the ritual. Within a few days their initially arbitrary suggestions became the way things were done, and no one had to be prompted or reprimanded. They made up games and settled on rules of play. They embarked on projects to clean up certain areas and established chains of command. Slackers were punished. Over achievers were praised. Flags were created. Signs erected.
Soon, the two groups began to suspect they weren’t alone. They would find evidence of others. They found cups and other signs of civilization in places they didn’t remember visiting. This strengthened their resolve and encouraged the two groups to hold tighter to their new norms, values, rituals and all the other elements of the shared culture. At the end of the first week, the Rattlers discovered the others on the camp’s baseball diamond. From this point forward both groups spent most of their time thinking about how to deal with their new-found adversaries. The group with no name asked about the outsiders. When told the other group called themselves the Rattlers, they elected a baseball captain and asked the camp staff if they could face off in a game with the enemy. They named their baseball team the Eagles after an animal they thought ate snakes.

From the study, the boys face each other for the first time

Sherif and his colleagues had already planned on pitting the groups against each other in competitive sports. They weren’t just researching how groups formed but also how they acted when in competition for resources. The fact the boys were already becoming incensed over the baseball field seemed to fall right in line with their research. So, the scientists proceeded with stage two. The two tribes were overjoyed to learn they would not only play baseball, but compete in tug-of-war, touch football, treasure hunts and other summer-camp-themed rivalry. The scientists revealed a finite number of prizes. Winners would receive one of a handful of medals or knives. When the boys won the knives, some would kiss them before rushing to hide the weapons from the other group.
Sherif noted the two groups spent a lot of time talking about how dumb and uncouth the other side was. They called them names, lots of names, and they seemed to be preoccupied every night with defining the essence of their enemies. Sherif was fascinated by this display. The two groups needed the other side to be inferior once the competition for limited resources became a factor, so they began defining them as such. It strengthened their identity to assume the identity of the enemy was a far cry from their own. Everything they learned about the other side became an example of how not to be, and if they did happen to see similarities they tended to be ignored.
The researchers collected data and discussed findings while planning the next series of activities, but the boys made other plans. The experiment was about to spiral out of control, and it started with the Eagles.
Some of the Eagles boys discovered the Rattlers’ flag standing unguarded on the baseball field. They discussed what to do and decided it should be ripped from the ground. Once they had it, a possession of the enemy, a symbol of their tribe, they decided to burn it. They then put its scorched remains back in place and sang Taps. Later, the Rattlers saw the atrocity and organized a raid in which they stole the Eagles’ flag and burned it as payback. When the Eagles discovered the revenge burning, the leader issued a challenge – a face off. The two leaders then met with their followers watching and prepared to fight, but the scientists intervened. That night, the Rattlers dressed in war paint and raided the Eagles’ cabins, turning over beds and tearing apart mosquito netting. The staff again intervened when the two groups started circling and gathering rocks. The next day, the Rattlers painted one of the Eagle boy’s stolen blue jeans with insults and paraded it in front of the enemy’s camp like a flag. The Eagles waited until the Rattlers were eating and conducted a retaliatory raid and then ran back to their cabin to set up defenses. They filled socks with rocks and waited. The camp staff, once again, intervened and convinced the Rattlers not to counterattack. The raids continued, and the interventions too, and eventually the Rattlers stole the Eagles knives and medals. The Eagles, determined to retrieve them, formed an organized war party with assigned roles and planned tactical maneuvers. The two groups finally fought in open combat. The scientists broke up the fights. Fearing the two tribes might murder someone, they moved the groups’ camps away from each other.
You probably suspected this was where the story was headed. You know it is possible in the right conditions that people, even children, might revert to savages. You know about the instant-coffee-version of cultures too. You remember high school. You’ve worked in a cubicle farm. You’ve watched Stephen King movies. People in new situations instinctively form groups. Those groups develop their own language quirks, in-jokes, norms, values and so on. You’ve probably suspected zombies, or bombs, or economic collapse would lead to a battle over who runs Bartertown. In this study, all they had to do was introduce competition for resources and summer camp became Lord of the Flies.
What you may not have noticed though is how much of this behavior is gurgling right below the surface of your consciousness day-to-day. You aren’t sharpening spears, but at some level you are contemplating your place in society, contemplating your allegiances and your opponents. You see yourself as part of some groups and not others, and like those boys you spend a lot of time defining outsiders. The way you see others is deeply affected by something psychologists call the illusion of asymmetric insight, but to understand it let’s first consider how groups, like people, have identities – and like people, those identities aren’t exactly real.

Source: "The Breakfast Club," 1985, Universal

Hopefully by now you’ve had one of those late-night conversations fueled by exhaustion, elation, fear or drugs in which you and your friends finally admit you are all bullshitting each other. If you haven’t, go watch The Breakfast Club and come back. The idea is this: You put on a mask and uniform before leaving for work. You put on another set for school. You have costume for friends of different persuasions and one just for family. Who you are alone is not who you are with a lover or a friend. You quick-change like Superman in a phone booth when you bump into old friends from high school at the grocery store, or the ex in line for the movie. When you part, you quick-change back and tell the person you are with why you appeared so strange for a moment. They understand, after all, they are also in disguise. It’s not a new or novel concept, the idea of multiple identities for multiple occasions, but it’s also not something you talk about often. The idea is old enough that the word person derives from persona – a Latin word for the masks Greek actors sometimes wore so people in the back rows of a performance could see who was on stage. This concept – actors and performance, persona and masks – has been intertwined and adopted throughout history. Shakespeare said, “all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” William James said a person “has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him.” Carl Jung was particularly fond of the concept of the persona saying it was “that which in reality one is not, but which oneself as well as others think one is.” It’s an old idea, but you and everyone else seems to stumble onto it anew in adolescence, forget about it for a while, and suddenly remember again from time to time when you feel like an impostor or a fraud. It’s ok, that’s a natural feeling, and if you don’t step back occasionally and feel funky about how you are wearing a socially constructed mask and uniform you are probably a psychopath.
Social media confounds the issue. You are a public relations masterpiece. Not only are you free to create alternate selves for forums, websites and digital watering holes, but from one social media service to the next you control the output of your persona. The clever tweets, the photos of your delectable triumphs with the oven and mixing bowl, the funny meme you send out into the firmament that you check back on for comments, the new thing you own, the new place you visited – they tell a story of who you want to be, who you ought to be. They satisfy something. Is anyone clicking on all these links? Is anyone smirking at this video? Are my responses being scoured for grammatical infractions? You ask these questions and others, even if they don’t rise to the surface.

Source: www.ravenwoodmasks.com

The recent fuss over the over-sharing, over the loss of privacy is just noisy ignorance. You know, as a citizen of the Internet, you obfuscate the truth of your character. You hide your fears and transgressions and vulnerable yearnings for meaning, for purpose, for connection. In a world where you can control everything presented to an audience both domestic or imaginary, what is laid bare depends on who you believe is on the other side of the screen. You fret over your father or your aunt asking to be your Facebook friend. What will they think of that version of you? In flesh or photons, it seems built-in, this desire to conceal some aspects of yourself in one group while exposing them in others. You can be vulnerable in many different ways but not all at once it seems.
So, you don social masks just like every human going back to the first campfires. You seem rather confident in them, in their ability to communicate and conceal that which you want on display and that which you wish was not. Groups too don these masks. Political parties establish platforms, companies give employees handbooks, countries write out constitutions, tree houses post club rules. Every human gathering and institution from the Gay Pride Parade to the KKK works to remain connected by developing a set a norms and values which signals to members when they are dealing with members of the in-group and help identify others as part of the out-group. The peculiar thing though is that once you feel this, once you feel included in a human institution or ideology, you can’t help but see outsiders through a warped lens called the illusion of asymmetric insight.
How well do you know your friends? Pick one out of the bunch, someone you interact with often. Do you see the little ways they lie to themselves and others? Do you secretly know what is holding them back, but also recognize the beautiful talents they don’t appreciate? Do you know what they want, what they are likely to do in most situations, what they will argue about and what they let slide? Do you notice when they are posturing and when they are vulnerable? Do you know the perfect gift? Do you wish they had never went out with so-and-so? Do you sometimes say with confidence, “You should have been there. You would have loved it,” about things you enjoyed for them, by proxy? Research shows you probably feel all these things and more. You see your friends, your family, your coworkers and peers as semipermeable beings. You label them with ease. You see them as the artist, the grouch, the slacker and the overachiever. “They did what? Oh, that’s no surprise.” You know who will watch the meteor shower with you and who will pass. You know who to ask about spark plugs and who to ask about planting a vegetable garden. You can, you believe, put yourself in their shoes and predict their behavior in just about any situation. You believe every person not you is an open book. Of course, the research shows they believe the same thing about you.
In 2001, Emily Pronin and Lee Ross at Stanford along with Justin Kruger at the University of Illinois and Kenneth Savitsky at Williams College conducted a series of experiments exploring why you see people this way.

In the first experiment they had people fill out a questionnaire asking them to think of a best friend and rate how well they believed they knew him or her. They showed the subjects a series of photos showing an iceberg submerged in varying levels of water and asked them to circle the one which corresponded to how much of the “essential nature” they felt they could see of their friends. How much, they asked, of your friend’s true self is visible and much is hidden below the surface? They then had the subjects take a second questionnaire which turned the questions around asking them to put themselves in the minds of their friends. How much of their own iceberg did they think their friends could see? Most people rated their insight into their best friend as keen. They saw more of the iceberg floating above the water line. In the other direction they felt the insight their friend’s possessed of them was lacking, most of their own self was submerged.
This and many other studies show you believe you see more of other people’s icebergs than they see of yours; meanwhile, they think the same thing about you.
The same researchers asked people to describe a time when they feel most like themselves. Most subjects, 78 percent, described something internal and unobservable like the feeling of seeing their child excel or the rush of applause after playing for an audience. When asked to describe when they believed friends or relatives were most illustrative of their personalities, they described internal feelings only 28 percent of the time. Instead, they tended to describe actions. Tom is most like Tom when he is telling a dirty joke. Jill is most like Jill when she is rock climbing. You can’t see internal states of others, so you generally don’t use those states to describe their personalities.
When they had subjects complete words with some letters missing (like g–l which could be goal, girl, gall, gill, etc.) and then ask how much the subjects believed those word completion tasks revealed about their true selves, most people said they revealed nothing at all. When the same people looked at other people’s word completions they said things like, “I get the feeling that whoever did this is pretty vain, but basically a nice guy.” They looked at the words and said the people who filled them in were nature lovers, or on their periods, or were positive thinkers or needed more sleep. When the words were their own, they meant nothing. When they were others’, they pulled back a curtain.
When Pronin, Ross, Kruger and Savitsky moved from individuals to groups, they found an even more troubling version of the illusion of asymmetric insight. They had subjects identify themselves as either liberals or conservatives and in a separate run of the experiment as either pro-abortion and anti-abortion. The groups filled out questionnaires about their own beliefs and how they interpreted the beliefs of their opposition. They then rated how much insight their opponents possessed. The results showed liberals believed they knew more about conservatives than conservatives knew about liberals. The conservatives believed they knew more about liberals than liberals knew about conservatives. Both groups thought they knew more about their opponents than their opponents knew about themselves. The same was true of the pro-abortion rights and anti-abortion groups.
The illusion of asymmetric insight makes it seem as though you know everyone else far better than they know you, and not only that, but you know them better than they know themselves. You believe the same thing about groups of which you are a member. As a whole, your group understands outsiders better than outsiders understand your group, and you understand the group better than its members know the group to which they belong.
The researchers explained this is how one eventually arrives at the illusion of naive realism, or believing your thoughts and perceptions are true, accurate and correct, therefore if someone sees things differently than you or disagrees with you in some way it is the result of a bias or an influence or a shortcoming. You feel like the other person must have been tainted in some way, otherwise they would see the world the way you do – the right way. The illusion of asymmetrical insight clouds your ability to see the people you disagree with as nuanced and complex. You tend to see your self and the groups you belong to in shades of gray, but others and their groups as solid and defined primary colors lacking nuance or complexity.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself; (I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
-Walt Whitman from Song of Myself, Leaves of Grass

The two tribes of children in Oklahoma formed because groups are how human beings escaped the Serengeti and built pyramids and invented Laffy Taffy. All primates depend on groups to survive and thrive, and human groups thrive most of all. It is in your nature to form them. Sherif’s experiment with the boys at Robber’s Cave showed how quickly and easily you do so, how your innate drive to develop and observe norms and rituals will express itself even in a cultural vacuum, but there is a dark side to this behavior. As psychologist Jonathan Haidt says, our minds “unite us into teams, divide us against other teams, and blind us to the truth.” It’s that last part that keeps getting you into trouble. Just as you don a self, a persona, and believe it to be thicker and harder to see through than those of your friends, family and peers, you too believe the groups to which you belong are more complex, more diverse and granular than are groups of which you could never imagine yourself a member. When you feel the warm comfort of belonging to a team, a tribe, a group – to a party, an ideology, a religion or a nation – you instinctively turn others into members of outgroups, into outsiders. Just as soldiers come up with derogatory names for enemies, every culture and sub-culture has a collection of terms for outsiders so as to better see them as a single-minded collective. You are prone to forming and joining groups and then believing your groups are more diverse than outside groups.
In a political debate you feel like the other side just doesn’t get your point of view, and if they could only see things with your clarity, they would understand and fall naturally in line with what you believe. They must not understand, because if they did they wouldn’t think the things they think. By contrast, you believe you totally get their point of view and you reject it. You see it in all its detail and understand it for what it is – stupid. You don’t need to hear them elaborate. So, each side believes they understand the other side better than the other side understands both their opponents and themselves.
The research suggests you and rest of humanity will continue to churn into groups, banding and disbanding, and the beautiful collective species-wide macromonoculture imagined by the most Utopian of dreams might just be impossible unless alien warships lay siege to our cities. In Sherif’s study, he was able to somewhat reintegrate the boys of the Robber’s Cave experiment by telling them the water supply had been sabotaged by vandals. The two groups were able to come together and repair it as one. Later he staged a problem with one of the camp trucks and was able to get the boys to work together to pull it with a rope until it started. They never fully joined into one group, but the hostilities eased enough for both groups to ride the same bus together back home. It seems peace is possible when we face shared problems, but for now we need to be in our tribes. It just feels right.
So, you pick a team, and like the boys at Robber’s Cave, you spend a lot of time a lot of time talking about how dumb and uncouth the other side is. You too can become preoccupied with defining the essence of your enemies. You too need the other side to be inferior, so you define them as such. You start to believe your persona is actually your identity, and the identity of your enemy is actually their persona. You see yourself in a game of self-deluded poker and assume you are impossible to read while everyone else has obvious tells.
The truth is, you are succumbing to the illusion of asymmetric insight, and as part of a flatter, more-connected, always-on world, you will be tasked with seeing through this illusion more and more often as you are presented with more opportunities than ever to confront and define those who you feel are not in your tribe. Your ancestors rarely made any contact with people of opposing views with anything other than the end of a weapon, so your natural instinct is to assume anyone not in your group is wrong just because they are not in your group. Remember, you are not so smart, and what seems like an insight is often an illusion.

peanut poses for peebleboy, life subscription: only 50 quid! (£££)

2012-02-05T15:50:00.000-05:00

my new piece.

"look at my awkward hand."

"i don't do photoshoots."

"to retaliate, ima gonnas shoot you instead!"

"incorrect depiction of oneself, let's try this again.."

"HOWS THIS FOR TRIGGER HAPPY?!"

if only more thought this way...

2012-02-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

glazed donuts

2012-02-03T18:07:00.003-05:00

I'M FINALLY GONNA BE A KITTY MOMMA! my co-worker Tracy, a very nice older man whom shares a distinctive resemblance to Mr. Jack Nicholson, his kitty had kittens, and he's going to let me pick one! considering the runt of the bunch that he said is the last one to have his eyes open - apparently one eye is, and the other isn't. B'AWWW. and luckily with Chris and I's schedules, someone could always be home with him (or her) but I will be so excited to come home to my 'boyfriend' (co-workers started calling him that, so I guess it's sorta the truth, but we have a very progressive relationship. dude, if he ever has a chance with a fly honey, he's welcome to it, as am I... but we never go out, so... yeah. maybe i should coin a song 'futuristic relationship' since obviously, the future is now. it already happened. nothing to see here.) aaaaand my new lil' baby-babyuh. After having watched La Dolce Vita last night, and the scene with the beautiful blonde babe and the little mew-ing kitty.... i'm going to take him for walks in my arms and he can play on the beach all he wants! as long as no crazy larger animals try to eat him. not that they'd try to fuck with this.
really going to try to make some friends soon... my co-workers are, obvs... but i need to hunt down some creative noggins out here and make shit happen!

dis be mr. christopher morrison bishop, aka Peebles. he's a pain in the ass. ;]

don't feel like saying much,

2012-02-02T22:59:00.002-05:00

everything is quite palpable to the touch.

harharhar...

2012-02-01T20:33:00.002-05:00

Confessions of an exile.

2012-01-30T17:19:00.000-05:00

"They make it look so easy... connecting with another human being. It's like no one told them it's the hardest thing in the world."

True connections. Something I thought I had somewhere else... but it was just a big stupid lie. Some bonds which I perceived as unshakable, or some thought to be strong - that are no longer. And then I think to myself... how can you blame them, right? That a person is only useful to another when you're physically in their presence? Outside of that, there's no purpose for me. Purposeless. Did anyone ever really care for anything that came out of my mouth? It feels like everything I said during that two year period is buried in a heavy fog.
Everything had to be so complicated. So complicated, that I'd just shack myself up alone, the majority of the time... just unable to go out and connect. Eventually, the way time crawled as I laid, many of times, huddled up in my bed, upset, in my head, alone, confused... the whiskey started voluntarily slipping down my throat, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no one, no one, that could connect with the my extreme level of disconnect, so I had to shut it up.
What began so pleasant, a new life in a new town, where everyone just seemed so warm and welcoming it felt as if I got to begin anew and really make some true, concrete connections post-cataclysmic college crap, I wasn't prepared for fuck arounds, mindgames, people doing things so appalling to my ethical standards (which obviously, we all have different perspectives) while I tried to keep ignoring it - I found myself converting, beginning to make the same idiotic mistakes. And I made more. Then, after I had attempted (probably my own fucked up head of a way, yet at times in my own plain innocent way) to get closer with others, got ceremoniously shut down in difficult, soul crushing ways. What was so wrong with me, I pondered, when it seemed everyone I'd witnessed in most ways - were just as fucked up and damaged as I was? Why wasn't I allowed to feel the comfort of the ones I thought I could truly connect with? Hence, the retaliations began. What sober, calm Karyn would never conceive, drunk Karyn was willing to say, to anyone, to 'get back' at them. The hurt, pissed off person that was too messed up to even feel comfortable to connect with anyone just wanted to inflict pain on anything that felt stabbing - so for example, if I was aware of a friend that was in some way fucked over by someone else I knew, naturally I wanted to put in my two cents. And if anyone fucked with me, it was a shitfest. One night at a local bar, I put on a shitshow after my purse was taken from the bar stool. Going back to it at the end of the night and discovering the disappearance, drunk as a skunk, I erupted into a feverish spectacle... and didn't remember it. Feeling instinctively awful the next day waking up, I asked my friend Matt what had happened. What was said make me feel like the biggest jerk in the world. He told me to apologize to the bartender, who was always wonderful to me, and I did... later that day.
What no one could understand was, I couldn't give it up. Mystery diagnosis leg pain required the booze. There wasn't anything else that was helping me - for after it initially rose into a situation, I feverishly told anyone who would listen what was wrong... but then that made me an annoyance, and was shot down because my pain sucked the fun out of everything. Alcohol made me shut up about it, squeezed the lid on tight. But my demon would find easy passage after the liquids were ingested, it flooded the dam and burst - lips would open - daggers would fly, and pierce.
After that, it was keep to myself, keep everything in, don't hurt anyone, don't even deal with another, the end. Of the friends who stuck by me despite it all, they knew who I really was, what I really stood for, how harmless I was. I miss them.... especially the ones who seem so stuck, alone as well, despite the abundance of 'friends' milling around them in that small town... but I do feel for many of the others, that are too damaged to let anyone else in. Just like me... until now.
I'm not lying when I say that Florida, as 'put down' and 'made fun of' as the notion of the idea of moving, of all places, here, was to the ones in that small town... has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. My mom and I, for the most part, had a nice mostly peaceful reunion for a few months while we pinned down the mystery and now my leg feels better every week. Our tectonic shift at the end will subside, and I for one believe we will be okay, because sometimes you have to weather a storm, but you pick yourself up, and you tell that other person sorry. A real, honest to god, apology. Which is something no one knows how to do anymore. They're justified in their actions, they do nothing wrong. But you know what? That's how you lose your connections. I would know, because I've done it. Arrogance runs rampant in the 21st century, and despite how you think you REALLY feel? You're wrong. and you have to own up to it.
Picking up and leaving everything you convinced yourself to think was you, having to deal with yourself for a few months as you get back on your feet, the realization does eventually hit: it wasn't. While there's no easy way to just go make a solid connection down here, sometimes fate brings in a helping hand and brings in someone who will weather your insecurities and reassure you that you are something wonderful to be cherished, as much as you don't want to believe that about yourself anymore. I'm making a close connection. No matter how difficult it may be, dealing with idiosyncrasies that are very much like your own (and the last thing you'd ever want to do is admit it) it just keeps getting better. It's finally happening, and it feels really nice.

'dem kooksters

2012-01-30T01:18:00.002-05:00

earlier...

now, late night, which I haven't seen in a while. superfuntimes listening to a badass classical music online radio station with Peebles. He is currently bopping around to its pure decadence.

he just had an unnatural hiccup.

don't you go chasin' waterfalls on me now!

the daddy mac will make ya

2012-01-30T00:45:00.002-05:00

that sexy bass line...

2012-01-29T15:42:00.001-05:00

wtf gif

2012-01-29T10:24:00.003-05:00

facts, jeremy, facts...

2012-01-29T09:22:00.003-05:00

[F]UNDAE!

2012-01-29T07:52:00.000-05:00

two thumbs up for nudity, and tattoos!

my weekend hath started. heavenly. big decision of the morning: going to look into purchasing a monthly pass to a yoga studio to combat the pain of my back and leg, which is on month four of the healing process; still throbby pain-filled. the intensity of a busy kitchen and the mile and a half walk to the bus afterwards does significantly slow me down and ache me up. have been trying to combat the pain with some moves and videos from Mitsie, my Virgo stepmom, aficionado of everything. hopefully Chris wakes up soon so we can take a glorious morning walk to the bayou... the manatees are callin' me, callin' me... little voices keep callin' me callin' me...

you don't say...

2012-01-29T07:29:00.003-05:00

your 'other' likes on facebook tell quite a story:

Magic Hat Brewing Company, xkcd, Questionable Content, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Marlon Brando, Downtown Northampton, Tuesday Market, Friedrich Nietzsche, Bring Yuengling to New England, One Nation Working Together, David Cross, Twisted Toys, NAYP: Northampton Area Young Professionals, Henry Thomas, Northampton Zombie Pubcrawl, Terry Gilliam, Steve Carell, Jennifer Nery, LAc, Moshi Moshi Japanese Restaurant, Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping, Jean-Paul Sartre, The Malarians, The Mal Thursday Show, PONDS, Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil, Dr. Sketchy's Northampton, I HATE JASON MARRERO, Shooting yourself with your fingers when you get frustrated., When I was younger I would record my favorite songs off the radio onto tape, Pleasant Street Theater, Phoned-In, Downtown Sounds, Kathy's Diner, Meowing back at a cat when it meows at you, Trials and Tribulations, Clark Griswold, Willsboro Bay Marina, The Coyote Choir, Lucky's Tattoo and Piercing, Half a Girl, Courtney Brooke, Mark Morford, Listen, Dammit, Herrell's Ice Cream, Faces, Lake Champlain, FML, Dan Savage, The Hartford Party Starters Union, SARK, Bill Murray, Ira Glass, This American Life, The Huffington Post, Upstate New York, President George Washington, NPR, John Cleese, Cats Wearing Hats, Eating & Drawing, The New Yorker, Suicide Girls, Conduit Labs, The New York Times, Monday Night Is Game Night At Hugos, Real girls stay. Hoes come & go. Little boys play around. Real men settle down., Edgar Allan Poe, UnderGrounds Coffee House, Wildflower Cafe, Newsweek, Winston Churchill, Blake Lively, George Carlin, Jon Stewart, Jennifer Saunders, Richard Hammond, James May, Jeremy Clarkson, Michael Palin, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Stephen Fry, Steve Coogan, Alan Davies, Howard Zinn, Art of the Home, Big Fred's Roast Beef, Occupy Together, Occupy Boston, OccupyDC K St, Occupy Wall St., Occupy Tampa, The Other 98%, Sheldon Cooper, Noah's Ark Club House, Hyperbole and a Half, StoryCorps, The Stig, ForAmerica, National Review, NewsBusters.org, Adbusters, Different is Good • Help Protect The River, WRSI - 93.9, Marc Spitz, Noam Chomsky, Lights On Tampa 2011, ShitMyDadSays, Dalai Lama, C3 northampton, Sparks!, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Jonathan Safran Foer, David Sedaris, David Foster Wallace, Noah Baumbach, The Daily Beast, Truthout, The Economist, Little Alaska, News Media Guild, Donald Glover, TechCavalry, Georgia O'Keeffe, Smith College Museum of Art, Chuck Klosterman, Bernie Sanders, Perry Baron Huntoon, Artist, Slate.com, Northampton Center for the Arts, Moss from The IT Crowd, Small Business Saturday, Northampton Winter Farmers Market, Valley Free Radio, The Northampton Survival Center, Dailypuppy, geek girls network, ThinkGeek, Salon, Jezebel, Grow Food Northampton, Boo, Artists for World Peace, Northampton Health Department, CCSU Blue Devil Soccer

thinking of you...

2012-01-28T19:34:00.000-05:00

i miss my dad, and my brother. (celebration of my first birthday and my brothers 3rd, september babes)

ON A ROLL. RON-A-ROLL.

2012-01-27T16:50:00.001-05:00

After a long day of work, sore back pain issues, and my talkative bus ride with Dan (the driver, my buddy) I stepped off and went to buy a little something for my unusual craving for sweet. A little one year old boy (that reminded me of Harrison on Dexter) was sitting in a cart at the check-out whining, and as I approached, looked at him like 'whats up lil' guy?' followed by an actual utterance of 'hey lil buddy' getting his complete silent attention. Pressing my mini ice cream package against his hand, I said "oooooh, coooold!" and he LOVED it and wanted me to do it over, and over, and over... and when it was all really over, he gave me a very heart melting tiny wave goodbye. lil' dude was a cutie. then i donated a dollar to breast cancer, after having recently purchased a hot pink air dryer (for my new incredibly short hairdo) in which supposedly proceeds of the cost would go to breast cancer too. yay bewbies!
feeling super jolly lately, looking up volunteer work, and totally gonna get me some Rosetta Stones so I can learn Russian and French.

HAH-HAH YEAH!

dali-dali-oxen free

2012-01-24T22:20:00.000-05:00

ps: the dali museum is quite surreal-ly astounding!

tripped and fell right into the lifeboat.

2012-01-24T22:15:00.000-05:00

choosing to and trying my best to stay in a positive frame of mind, and so far what that really entails the most of doing at this present time is trying to have more confidence in myself - and to forget the ones who had tried to shake up my insides. have been doing much better with this but having the internet again, my curiosity kills me and i sometimes curtail into the past... constant reminder to self: the past is obsolete and i can only do better from here.
who knows where i'll end up midway through 2012.
could be here, there, or abroad.
until then, important things to take care of: eye exam, new glasses, passport (although the process sounds like a pain in my pancre-ASS) chopping off all this ridiculous long hair, staying smiley and giggly. :)

buy bye, bye buy...

2012-01-22T21:28:00.002-05:00

1920's

2012-01-22T19:10:00.001-05:00

1930's

2012-01-22T18:58:00.001-05:00

a real volcano in the sack

2012-01-22T17:41:00.000-05:00

Exceptionally Lovely

Midnight in Paris

— MOVIECLIPS.com

Were you scared?

2012-01-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

"You'll never write well if you fear dying." Hemingway in Midnight in Paris

stop looking for answers in everyones face

2012-01-22T16:39:00.001-05:00

to humphrey bogart

2012-01-22T13:58:00.000-05:00

"When I was 17 and fell in love with boyfriend I heard this on the b side of Virginia Plain and thought it was soooo gently sophisticated. Now at 54, I still think so, even after a lot of other sophisticated things. Not many songs you can go back to and feel the same." (random youtube comment)

bonjour mademoiselle!

2012-01-20T20:09:00.000-05:00

we own the sky.

2012-01-16T18:01:00.002-05:00

gumby vs. godzilla

2012-01-15T12:56:00.000-05:00

mighty ducks!

my shadow is a dude.

lamey.

Tried to put an embed link of Eddie Murphy as Gumby in here, but if you're really that interested, search for it instead!

Here's something fun...

"Damn! It's about time that someone puts the decorum back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, playas!"

2012-01-11T16:38:00.000-05:00

A brilliant 'review' on Amazon.com of The Obamas:

'Let's give it up for Barry and Michelle, playas! Now, can you dig that, sucka?!'
by Hassan Z. Brockovich Sr.

"I just came back from one of the last, few, Occupy-Wall Street rallies that are still being held across the U.S. in their final pockets of resistance, but while I was protesting my bleeding heart out, I managed to also get in some light reading because I had an advance copy of The Obamas, Kantor's fine new book. Now, while the reading was a little, tiny bit heavy for me because there were no brightly colored pictures as well as really big print for me to focus on easily, I still managed to enjoy this flattering portrait of America's first, color-breaking family of blacks in the White House.

Kantor is a brilliant author, and this shows in how she is able to very vividly paint a breathtaking account of what a real first family and first marriage is all about--unlike that no good George W. Bush, with all his Christianity, praying and humility (that librarian wife of his was no prize either, lemme tell ya). But The Obamas really in my mind epitomized why Barack and Michelle have single-handedly succeeded in making America that "shining city on the hill" again after Dubya p i s s e d all over it from 2000 to 2008.

For one, unlike that Bushhitler, Barry and Michelle are extremely, extremely humble and low-key, which is EXACTLY what the American people still suffering 9% unemployment (and 17% real unemployment if you count those poor souls who just quit looking for work altogether) expect from their great leaders, after all! I think that this humble attitude of Barry's and Michelle's was shown no better than in their very concealed and hidden 2009 "Alice in Wonderland" extravaganza where they threw an elaborate partay for Johnny Depp (Mr. Gilbert Grape) and Tim Burton while Michelle was keeping it real in sexay leopard costume, rowr!!

I praise Barry and Michelle for concealing this from the American public all this time because they knew exactly that all Americans (even those black people who voted for Obama just because he is black, too) would be very angry at them for living it up while the rest of the country is in the POOR HOUSE. So the cover-up by the Obama Administration of this sweet shindig was obviously a way of them showing their respect and humility to all the other Americans who could not and still cannot afford to live that large. Again, what amazing and saintly humanity from Barry and Michelle, unlike that Dubya bad guy whose idea of "humanity" was to k i l l some Muslims!

I also enjoyed how Kantor's book took a real look at how Barry and Michelle brought back decorum to the White House again! After that Bush h i t l e r ruined all of America's decorum by saying profane phrases like F *** S a d d a m before liberating the Iraqis and calling the NYT misrepresentation machine Adam Clymer a major-league *** h o l e, I'm glad that Barry and M o o c h e l l e are setting the bar higher. Again, Kantor is kind enough to include an example that illustrates this perfectly. For example, how about the remarkable time when WH spokesman/press secretary Robert Gibbs (now working at your local fast food place) used the F-word when speaking to Valerie Jarrett about Michelle Obama?! I know, right?!?! When I read that wonderful passage, I was like, "Damn! It's about time that someone puts the decorum back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, playas!" And with that example, Barry and Michelle sure as hell did.

In sum, I urge you to go out and buy this book because it will show you that Barry and Michelle are 100% superior than Dubya and Laura, hell than any conservatives or Republicans in the history of the U.S. Since Obama is doing an absolutely fantastic job of saving the U.S. economy from the death imposed on it by Bush h i t l e r--which can be seen in Obama masterfully lowering the unemployment rate to a barely better 8.5% from the already awesome 8.7% of a month ago--it is obvious that you now have a lot of money in your pocket. After all, you got 0.02% jobs back, playa! So what are you waiting for? Give back to Barack and Michelle some of the money they have already ensured that you have thanks to extended unemployment benefits, and show them how much you appreciate them giving you welfare by buying their book.

Current state of affairs.

2012-01-10T19:49:00.004-05:00

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - William Gibson

I'll try not to be too dismayed by the fact that most of my friends are just still trying to act 'cool' when their potential (I'm not even TRYING to be condescending and say 'full potential'... just saying... ANY potential to which I know they have a higher capacity) could be/is of such a higher caliber... and used for the greater good... I myself am attempting to find that certain goal to achieve that would bring me more peace that exists within my body at the moment.
it seems awkwardly sad for my 'young at heart' soul to admit, but I'm a bit afraid of the whole 'all fun and games' aspect of the younger generations. discipline seems to have been swept under the current completely. 'do what you wanna do.' that goes for anyone, doing anything. having always been quite modest (minus the last two devilish years) I just cannot bear idiocy from people who should be of proper intellect and understanding by now. Aka, if you're running with a 'clique' past 25, get over it, get out on your own and stop worrying about bullshit. Do what you GOTTA do, for yourself, and for others. Everyone needs to stop this superiority bullshit.

SONG DONATIONS!

2012-01-09T16:32:00.001-05:00

awesome friends that helped recommend these: tommy benson, ross martowski, anna waltman, kathryn leigh.

spewing words with incorrect copyediting

2012-01-09T14:59:00.002-05:00

"The more you know, the more you know you don't know and the more you know that you don't know." - David Byrne

what's been coming out on display for myself to see lately: how easily frustrated and upset i can become. since my weekend is sunday and monday, miss lazybutt decided to have 30 minute intervals of sleep on each side from about 9am till noon - reached for my phone on the bedside table, to realize it had rather apparently crapped out completely. so, you know, after having had the phone crap out up north early last summer, the one i shared on a family plan with my mother for a couple months, to then get this one on my own, metro pcs... and have it go out. see, when bad things happen in 2's or 3's for me - basically if it repeats itself again, i go apeshit.
i tried not to go apeshit. but inadvertently so, i gave chris hell. it wasn't directed at him whatsoever, i was just going off about my shit luck. basically, you'd never want to see me hit bankrupt on 'wheel of fortune.' so he seemed to tense up significantly. luckily in my attempts to talk out the situation, he admitted to sometimes feeling like he has to tiptoe on eggshells around me. a morose feeling swept over me in silence. but... i can't help it. he can't help it. we're both individuals with high levels of anxiety. everything has been pretty smooth lately, until this afternoon.
after the grocery store had stressed me out some more, while making grilled cheese and soup on the gas stove, i accidentally lit the handle of the pan on fire because this idiot was attempting to do three things at once and got REALLY mad at herself for it after everything was put out and okay, to where i was just frozen in a trance, standing there. chris came over and stood next to me and gave me a hug. i try to press my forehead into his chest as best i can, because my brain always hurts so much.
i also have a weird cysty tumor thing a little bit below my armpit (which is what I had assumed to be a spider bite a couple months ago, has been ruled out) looking up a million things online about it and trying to do whatever i can (including taking vitamin e and popping the liquid gel caps to put some on the area) if it's breast cancer, well let's just say at this point after every fucking thing that's happened, i just shouldn't be surprised, right? if i sound pissed, i'm really not. it might be true, i might not be able to feel anything anymore. i'll let you know when i do.

grilled cheese monday

2012-01-09T14:04:00.000-05:00

it's a sponge's life, in the water.

superfriends, the legendary superpowers show!

gimmie some lovin'

2012-01-08T16:10:00.001-05:00

strangers with candy

2012-01-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

everything is so fantastic i could poop myself right now.

i'll blame it on Dizzy.

kekeke

2012-01-07T21:02:00.000-05:00

talking to my gorilla friends at the monkey sanctuary.

photo by chris

north by northwest

2012-01-06T17:14:00.003-05:00

dayyyyyuummmm

2012-01-05T18:40:00.000-05:00

decided to give early genesis a try (from my favorite youtube station) and i'm lovingggggg it.

WOO!

chilly hands

2012-01-03T18:22:00.000-05:00

listening to old volumes of early pink floyd (ala syd barrett, when he was losing his mind on da'drugs) on this incredibly first official chilly day/evening of the season... high in the 40s, supposed to be in the 20's tonight. currently i'm adorning a hoodie with a sweater underneath. see the problem is down here... you have warm weather for the longest time then all of a sudden... you're in the ice box. and with the general blood thinning process that goes on the longer you're down here... you end up like a co-worker of mine [native to florida] who puts on a million layers just to go to sleep at night. luckily with the space heater and down comforter, I should be okay. the only thing that bothers me: you're much more prepared in the northeastern climate for these ... and the fact that it involved SINGLE DIGIT nights. a friend up north today said it is in those digits... and there's no way i'd be able to cope with it. honestly, I don't know how they do it.

here's to hoping my shower tomorrow morning won't be anymore devastating when emerging from it afterwards this morning.

boys will be boys will be boys

2012-01-02T19:48:00.000-05:00

"They won't understand it."

2012-01-02T18:49:00.000-05:00

After Peebles said those two words (with a vowel in between) aloud while they were ordering Chinese inside 'China Taste', having listened to this in the car on the way over... visibly ruffling Gracy's feathers... and then Peebles said...

there ain't no easy way out.

2012-01-02T16:13:00.001-05:00

"I feel free!" said me, with characteristic brevity.
being lonesome is but a mere figment of the imagination.
now that the tall telling device has returned
fingers click clacking on the keys
adventurous stories will be fleshed out.
"this too, shall pass."
don we now our new year, and the skepticism it may bring.
and for those who attempt to tell stories during this year,
stories of empowerment to overcome our 'impending' doom,
of families who are flustered with financial failure,
and the push for progressive prominence.
our need to succeed.
not the corporations.

You can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won't back down.

revitalization.

2012-01-02T14:31:00.000-05:00

"...a deeply satisfying, liberating experience; perhaps you will simply enjoy yourself with more gusto and freedom than usual and take pleasure in life. There may be a very meaningful encounter during this time - with your partner, someone close to you, or someone whom you have never met before. This encounter will be so deep and personal that you will have the opportunity to perceive and possibly even discuss things about yourself that you have preferred to suppress up to now, and not reveal to anyone. Thus, you have the chance to behave differently and, for once, to act out of character and acknowledge your injury or sensitivity, without having to fear being hurt or rejected once more."

wino, eesay wi-i-ino...

2011-12-19T16:10:00.000-05:00

Many apologies with the lack of update... hopefully by the next week or so we'll be getting our own internets so the awkward feeling I'm experiencing from writing this in the library can fortunately go by the wayside (and then can experience the luxury of snuggling with my new down comforter and writing my daily exploits)
Creativity has been booming. It's all bubbling up every which way and I'm trying to get all of the ideas down on paper... once my computer capabilities are restored I can get on the ball with everything I want to accomplish.
I'm missing everyone a lot lately, and the cold weather... my father and stepmother will be visiting in February... as for what is going to happen on Christmas, it may just end up like Thanksgiving. Quiet, but delectable.
My roommate and I are a particularly peculiar pairing. What was sparked due to his adoration with BBC programming and a law office we pass on our daily epic journey through three towns to my cafe, Peebles and Gracy, we're determined to make our own sitcom of sorts. Except I be dah exact opposite of GRACE, yanno.
The predatory wasp of the palisades was stuck in our window today. but just like THAT, he escape artist'd that shit.

Photos and more commentary will be available in future entries, but for now, 'dis boat needs to keep paddlin' along this momentous monday of miscellanous milling about margarita-land. (jest... tarpon is luckily too sleepy of a greek town for those ridiculous parrotheadfreakos.)

drugstore cowboy

2011-12-07T15:46:00.000-05:00

matt dillon is in town makin' a film.

he ate the food i made at the cafe yesterday...

hopefully he comes back for the duration of his stay!

Thanks dudes & dudettes...

2011-12-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

Have been working and been exhausted... have a day off tomorrow and hope to start some sort of manatee comic... so stay tuned and I love you all! <3

stroll through the society of sponge

2011-12-04T17:24:00.000-05:00

some dainty sunday photos I took on my excursion through town:

and silly pictures i've spawned:

photographs of tarpon continued

2011-12-03T19:01:00.001-05:00

these obviously taken by me,

BUT! more photos taken HERE

by mr. christopher bishop, my roommate.

photographs of tarpon

2011-12-03T18:04:00.001-05:00

my kitchen ala sharpy version

greek 'taj mahal' from my kitchen window

me on some clouds

reflections of the bayou

manatee nose

hai.

communication breakdown

2011-12-03T17:58:00.001-05:00

Not sure what exactly is supposed to be happening right now, but I've been having a nice time hanging out with my roommate when I'm not working. We've hung out and talked to different monkeys at a monkey sanctuary, hanging out with manatees at the bayou, watching random shows, cartoons, and movies (last ones being Black Books, Betty Boop, and The Third Man.) Holiday mumbo jumbo is getting me completely grinchy unfortunately, I can't succumb to this bullshit anymore... it's gotten so pukeworthy I wish the technology from 'Eternal Sunshine' was readily available just to delete the word 'Christmas' with a nice slice of silence.
Re-activated Facebook only because when I called my father on my OWN new line, he told me to. Weird to me, as I tried to tell him about how much drama the thing accrues and is instigated, contorted, reverberated to miserable extents. I've been without the internet. I've been quiet as a pin. And to have my father tell me I need to coincide with this evil. I reluctantly said okay, and have been occasionally updating it from my phone.
Just really don't feel like I have anything to say to anyone right now. Especially those who will listen to everyone elses accounts of what's going on with me when they know absolutely nothing. We all got our own shit to deal with, and what better way then to tune out.
Been spending a lot of time singing in my new place; might start just trying to record shit.

snug as a bug.

2011-11-26T19:34:00.000-05:00

sitting at a most perfect ambient dimly lit coffee shop sitting at a small cute table with a candle flickering, looking upon the youth of tarpon springs as they prepare themselves for a night of several acts. the musical selection before mic check seemed to fit snugly into the situation. have been able to actually initiate contact with a few of the bystanders. now some kid is playing radiohead on a keyboard. yes, he is singing karma police. oh boy. oh, that was just the soundcheck? now they're trying to fool.

perfect life.

2011-11-25T18:29:00.000-05:00

sorry about the long hiatus.

i am:

officially out of my mothers place,
living in a small greek sponge diving town with my quote unquote new boyfriend who is taking super good care of me... he is from georgia, has toured with neutral milk hotel and recorded julian kosters side project (but julian apparently owes him 400 bucks for it. and informed me that he's totally gay... how I slept in the same place as him and had breakfast with him, and strangely enough couldn't even guess it. the tight sweater may have been a hint.)
working at my cafe in clearwater with my amazing new family, chris drives me there and i take an hour long bus ride back.
my thanksgiving consisted of cuddling to betty boop cartoons, walking to the sponge docks, and basically loving the shit out of my life right now. everything is going perfectly finally and i thank my lucky stars. (and mars.)

past, present, future talk

2011-11-21T17:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday: Today during the day you may feel like being alone with your thoughts and feelings. Your mood is not usually bad or depressed, you simply desire to be calm and reflective. But you are probably not in the mood for frivolity. You prefer the company of serious people, if any, and you want the conversation to be about important topics. Under this influence you may feel the need to consult someone whose higher vantage point you respect. You are able to balance your emotional needs with your sense of duty and obligation. While you are aware of your feelings, you do not let them overwhelm you. In all proceedings you are thrifty and careful. You are also very careful and thorough in your approach to any kind of work now. It is not likely that you will have to do any task over, nor will anyone else have to clean up after you.

Today: During the day you will feel much more emotional than usual. This, of course, can be either good or bad, depending upon how you normally relate to your emotions. If you are ill at ease with your feelings, you will not consciously be aware of them. But you will relate to people in automatic ways, conditioned by habit. You will respond unconsciously to small cues put out by other persons that neither you nor they are aware of. The problem here is that you are unable to see each new moment and person afresh. On the other hand, if you can handle the emotions that are aroused, you will be able to relate to others with great feeling and empathy. This influence is excellent for occasions when you and another person must relate at a very deep, intense level.

Tomorrow: During this time, you will have many group discussions and conversations with others; you will meet new people, possibly travel quite a bit and certainly have more contact with relatives and immediate neighbors.You feel that you have to communicate with as many people as possible. This is a very good time for all kinds of intellectual activities. It is not a good time to try to settle down and relax. The tempo of events in your environment is likely to be too fast, and it will be difficult to avoid getting caught up in it. Nevertheless you should try sometimes to disconnect yourself from this frantic pace, because it may get to the point that you are continually distracted and unable to think properly. For this reason it is not the best time to try to reach a conclusion on some matter.

(astro.com)

on a quick note.

2011-11-21T12:14:00.001-05:00

No longer at my mothers.

On my own path.

Don't worry about me,

I'll be just fine.

unchained

2011-11-20T21:48:00.000-05:00

out of my cage, ready to see. what on earth will ensue, beats the hell outta me.

but longed for still.

2011-11-19T22:49:00.000-05:00

The free bird leaps

on the back of the win

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wings

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with fearful trill

of the things unknown

but longed for still

and is tune is heard

on the distant hillfor the caged bird

sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze

an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

you got the power...

2011-11-17T21:22:00.001-05:00

"I'm just like butter in your hands!"

2011-11-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

uh-gagagagagagaga.

yippie skippie

2011-11-17T11:13:00.003-05:00

got to enjoy the late eve before a day off with a new friend from france named steven, we escapaded in his jeep wrangler last night and went to his awesome pad on the private part of clearwater beach, hung out on his balcony having brilliant conversation while enjoying the tantalizing view of the ocean, waves crashing, lightning out in the distance. it was remarkable. he said he was quite on his own, needing a friend, and I concurred needing the same, and so we just chitchatted away. was supposed to hang out with a new friend from st. pete but rescheduled, just really needed a somewhat calm evening after tripping/falling at work yesterday (kitchen was overloaded with boxes for the jazz fest our owner is running/catering) and getting bit by a spider. I have plenty of time to hang out with all my new buddies... and I'm so excited to do so!

fuck it.

2011-11-14T19:34:00.003-05:00

i will always be single.

working 12 hour days five days a week now will

keep me occupied from any crazy impulsive

thoughts of things that will never ever happen.

pewpewpew.

yo momma

2011-11-13T22:52:00.002-05:00

oh innuendo...

2011-11-13T22:38:00.000-05:00

I'M ALRIGHT!

2011-11-13T00:17:00.000-05:00

SAW STYX PLAY AT AN OUTDOOR FEST! OH MY GOD WHAT A SHOW. got to get up front, up close and personal & jammed with some awesome people. they (the band) were all so studly, and i swear that tommy shaw and i shared a moment! confetti rained down during 'rockin' the paradise' (one of the two encores, the other being renegade) also played lady, too much time on my hands, come sail away... and this one, which I've decided to dedicate to myself.

also while sitting on the ledge of the bay, two dolphins were twirling around underneath me... no one else was around except another guy who witnessed it, and said 'i think they want to make you their queen.' DOLPHIN QUEEN!

so going to buy tix for the CHEAP TRICK NEW YEARS EVE PERFORMANCE!

11/11/11

2011-11-11T23:11:00.001-05:00

Me: 9 min till a good wish! (for the 11:11pm, which I already made an AM)
Jay Majerowski: i already made one :) but i made it for the entire world..... so this one will be the personal one
Me: aw you made the AM one already?
Jay Majerowski: yeap i did it for world something... can't tell you because it wont come true

especially excited for what's to come after this day of hopeful haiku.

LEG STORY: SUCCINCT VERSION

2011-11-10T21:24:00.000-05:00

While most who know me knows damn well what happened already, I still get questioned by others constantly. here is the quickest, longest answer I've been able to pull out of my buttcrack:

I had a bad leg injury two years ago... was 'carrying a box'* as heavy as i almost, lost balance, landed onto the cement under my right knee (with the extra weight) ... thought it was just bruised but it stayed bruised and sore for weeks... pain kept advancing throughout the months and i went to the hospital twice (first alone, they didnt take me seriously, second with a co-worker helping me voice what was wrong, still didnt get taken seriously).. was living on my own and supporting myself but was doing hardcore food service jobs and it was killing me... was trying to troop it out but i'd get let go of each place after about 5 months or so... basically the owners would let me go because they could see something was wrong and would express that i shouldnt be doing such jobs in such condition but I had no choice. the pain was driving me to drink like a fish to cope and I basically was a very easily irritable, depressed, hurt person. when I eventually got let go of the last place I worked for up north, my mom finally heard my plea of 'I can't go on' --- so moving down here, I finally got the help I needed... she helped me figure it out, was helping me be persistent with these shitheads of doctors who try to give you a run around and no answer (but still expecting a bill... like the first ortho who said i didnt need surgery after I got the MRI clearly indicating I had three ganglion cysts deep in the back of my right leg which at the two year point last september, i was experiencing #10 pain [on the scale of 1-10] and crying in agony most of the time... second one exclaimed 'the first one told you you didnt need it? really?' and was the one who conducted the surgery....... anyways... thats what happened. first job involving working hard and being on my feet for 12 hours = a lot for the newly healed leg to take... but I think it's holding up.

Ah, glad I won't be explaining that anymore. whoever asks gets redirected here.

*only people who know me will understand why this is apostrophe'd.

baracky the puppet

2011-11-09T01:26:00.001-05:00

or insomnia will reign supreme and i'll watch things that re-remind me of how fucked up everything is.

MH: what are you up to?
KD: freaking out at the global state of affairs, you know
MH: I hear ya, I have my moments too
KD: ugh. what do we do.
MH: No one knows. Things have snowballed out of control, I honestly haven't the slightest.
KD: i wish i could get a huge following overnight so i could tour the country and talk to audiences and tell them to wake the hell up. and id probably be assassinated but thats the price im willing to pay.
MH: No one wants to hear it. no one wants to hear anything these days. foot in mouth and head up asshole.
KD: yeah, the corporate subliminal messaging is being proven quite effective. not on me thank god.
MH: good.

really? REALLY?

2011-11-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

spending entire days walking all

over creation job-hunting equals

handgun slinging.

rosy lips & cheeks

2011-11-07T02:26:00.001-05:00

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooo-gula

2011-11-06T20:10:00.002-05:00

doodles on laptop touchpads are difficult.

i'm reaaaallllllyyyy wanting a pen tablet...
hopefully i'll get one somehow.

until then, i'm testing myself by doing quickie doodles on MS paint.

this trash was made in 20 min or less (each)

quickie 'painting' of EVIL LLOYD BLANKFEIN.

other randoms for today:

never showed anyone my sweet incision:

(don't mind the pants marks)

trapped in the mirror again.

ineffable invincibility

2011-11-05T15:44:00.001-04:00

Two doodles from one of my favorite
Hyperbole and a Half posts:

Worry Dolls

2011-11-05T14:11:00.003-04:00

Worry Dolls: I've had this headband ever since traveling to San Antonio, Texas when I was 10 or 12... worry dolls originated in Guatemala, where the Ancient Mayans would make these little dolls out of scraps of leftover fabric and splinters of wood. They're supposed to be put under the pillow as to help aide worry and insomnia in both children and adults.

I found directions to make more, which I'm going to attempt soon!

To make your own Worry Dolls you will need the following:

    * Garbage bag ties (three per doll)
    * Coloured cotton
    * Scraps of paper
    * Scissors
    * Glue
    * Felt tip pen or marker
    * Cloth bag or a small painted wooden box

Each Worry Doll will be about three inches high, a little larger than the traditional type, but they will still work to the same ends. You can of course make your Worry Dolls with splinters of wood and scrap materials like the Mayans if you so wish, the process is much the same.

   1. Twist two of the garbage ties together about one inch from the end. Leave the short ends together for the doll's head, and separate the long ends for the legs.
   2. Wrap the third garbage tie around the other two and twist to make the doll's arms. Cut if necessary for the doll's arms to be the same length. Bend the ends of the ties for hands and feet.
   3. Tie the end of a long piece of cotton around the center of the doll and wrap the cotton around the body and down one leg. Then wind the cotton back up the leg. Wind cotton up and down the other leg and tie off the loose ends.
   4. Wrap the chest and arms of the doll in the same way that the legs were wrapped.
   5. Fold a small piece of paper in half, and trim to a circle shape for a head and face. Fold the head over the twist tie ends, glue in place, and add a face with the pen or marker. Now you have a Worry Doll!
   6. Repeat the steps above five times, and then find a suitable cloth bag or box to put them all in.

Once you have created a complete set of Worry Dolls, use them wisely!

(directions from here) 

oh what a sweet surrender

2011-11-04T21:05:00.000-04:00

mr. bungle

2011-11-04T20:40:00.001-04:00

<3 mike patton, and his creative fans.

bus talk

2011-11-04T13:35:00.000-04:00

two days ago after a call center interview (for macys...) I was on quite the loaded bus sitting in the back with a few blue collar guys, who were nodding off (after apparently having worked since 5am.) people up north can make fun of some folks down here all they want, but manual labor looks/sounds like a bitch, and someone's gotta do it, right?
so anyways, one of them wakes up and starts talking to me, asking me why I'm dressed up.
me: "I just went to a job interview."
him: "did you get it?"
me: "don't know yet. it's at a call center though, and would entail two 12 hour days and two 8 hour days a week."
him: "oh wow. that doesn't sound like fun. you don't belong there. you should just get your boyfriend to---"
me: "I don't have one."
seemed a bit surprised, the sleep won him over again, and then when he got off the bus, said, "well, I hope everything works out for you, ma'am."

going for another interview today. 'woop woop.'

over 10,000 views!

2011-11-04T12:05:00.000-04:00

All-Time:

Monthly:

Weekly:

Muchos Gracias, Grazie, Arigato, Spasibo!

malfunctioning

2011-11-04T02:44:00.001-04:00

migranes are malicious meanies macro-manifesting in the master memory machine. make it do the opposite of metastasize and MOVE OUT so I can marginalize this matter. go masquerade in someone elses mind.

my so called, 'non-existent' life

2011-11-03T13:58:00.000-04:00

November 3rd, 2011
(www.astro.com)

A fleeting depression

Weak, transient effect: This influence can indicate a period of fleeting depression. Today during the day you are inclined to feel lonely and out of touch with others. Sometimes you have a pronounced sense that no one loves you, whether or not it is true. It is very important to realize that your moods and sensations under this influence often do not reflect reality, even though they seem to. One area where you can have real trouble is in relationships. You will find it unusually difficult to relate emotionally to another person during this time. Either you are caught up in internal negativism, or you feel so cold and insensitive that you do not register signals from other people very well. This in turn leads to failures of communication and genuine misunderstandings. Obviously this is not a good time to become involved in an emotionally delicate situation.

Who I am.

2011-11-02T02:36:00.000-04:00

Something I've ignored forever, but from a new mentor (who used to be a psychic) he gave me two websites for daily and monthly insights...

Today, November 2nd's:
(from www.astro.com)
Maternal instincts

Weak, transient effect: This influence is good for all kinds of relationships in that all your contacts with others today during the day are warm and emotional. You do not choose superficial or formal contacts but instead desire to make a personal connection with everyone you meet. At the same time you feel a strong need to protect and nurture those whom you are close to. There is something of the maternal instinct in the way you care for others. You are also very sensitive to people's emotional needs and wants, which enables you to respond to them at a very deep level of understanding. You will want to feel that you belong to any group that you associate with at this time. Fortunately you will also be able to make others feel that they belong with you. Your emotions are so much closer to the surface of your being that you can see them clearly.

Virgo Horoscope for November 2011

And this really long, rather lengthy monthly horoscope for November,
(from www.astrologyzone.com)
By Susan Miller

Your time is coming, dear Virgo. After having come through a very hard time from late 2007 to mid-2010, you are deserving of some special care from a loving universe. It's coming now, at long last. This could turn out to be a major turning point month for you, where all sorts of wonderful things finally start to happen. Things that have been pending will get settled soon, so have patience. There's a lot for me to tell you about, so let's get started!

Travel should be enchanting over the tender full moon of November 10 in the sensuous sign of Taurus, for it will light your house of adventure, travel, and learning. This full moon will make no definitive aspects to other planets (which is unusual), but it will send you lots of good wishes and happy experiences nonetheless, for you are an earth sign too, perfectly positioned to gather up its goodies.

If you have been in court, you should hear of a settlement at this time, and the results should please you. If you need a green card or visa, or hope to become a citizen of another country, all these matters will progress now, get settled, and likely make you smile now. Full moons bring closure, and because this one is so friendly to your Sun, you should be pleased with the results.

Good fortune Jupiter is in the same house as the full moon, and this is an indication that this area of your chart is a fortunate area for you now. You may be on the road this month, and if so, things should go exceedingly well. In fact, the accommodations should be quite luxurious! Jupiter will send a direct phone call to Pluto in your house of true love, the reason I feel so positive about how much you will enjoy this full moon, December 10, plus or minus four days.

If you do go out of town this month, it wouldn't likely be for work, but rather to have a romantic interlude, or to see family. (Family is indicated because Venus, the planet ruling your house of travel, will be orbiting through your house of family at the time.) If you have had no plans to travel now, maybe you should reconsider and plan a trip for sometime between December 25 (the day Jupiter will turn strong, direct motion) and June 12, 2012, when Jupiter will leave. (Once Jupiter leaves your ninth house of travel, he will not be back to this part of your chart for more than a decade! You are likely to find a great travel deal these days!)

If you were born on September 10, or within four days of this date, this full moon will bring you a double dip of happiness.

Virgo of any birthday should see benefits from what happens on another day, November 16, when Mars and Jupiter will bring you all kinds of happy news from ninth house activities. (Those are all the areas I have been discussing, including foreign and long-distance travel, citizenship matters, court settlements, university study, publishing / broadcasting, as some examples.) Put a big star on that date!

One day that is a standout that is coming in the first week of November is so special that I would like to stop here to highlight that day. It's November 3, when Uranus will signal your ruler, Mercury, making it a sensational day for brainstorming for ideas, or for hearing out-of-the-blue good news from an unexpected source. Venus will also receive good news from Uranus, so there are other benefits in the wind - sudden news about real estate, money, travel - and all of it is so encouraging! Do something important on November 3!

There is MORE headline news coming your way this month that involves Mars' impending move into Virgo on November 11. Normally, Mars stays in a sign for seven weeks, enough time for this action-oriented planet to help you score many impressive accomplishments in regard to the specific house Mars visits. This time, Mars will remain in Virgo for not seven weeks but nearly eight months! What an advantage! And with Mars moving through your first house, you will get carte blanche. You won't have to confine your attention and actions to only one area of the chart, and therefore only one area of life, but instead can choose ANY area you want to improve and Mars will automatically help you. Why? When Mars is in your first house, the house of your personality, you can choose precisely what you want to do. This house covers the parts of life that are dearly important to you, so personal to you that even I cannot see them from where I sit. Only you know how you want to direct Mars' energy, and it is your privilege to do so.

When you have Mars in your sign, as you will have from November 11 to July 3, 2011, Mars will give you energy, drive, and an attractive sense of self-confidence that will draw powerful people to you who will offer their help. Best of all, Mars will give you considerable control over the direction events take, and those events will tend to go in your favor. You are being given a wonderful advantage, dear Virgo. This is as unusual as it is extraordinary. All the other eleven zodiac signs will have to stand aside and wait until it's their turn to have Mars to themselves, but remember, they won't get eight months of Mars, only seven weeks of his time.

In love, Mars will make you magnetic and sexy too, and romantically, from now on, you may have to get used to being fussed over. Virgo is a modest sign, not usually given to enjoying this level of attention. Get used to it! It is time to stretch out your arms and grab the world with both your hands! You've had it so hard for so long, that it's about time the universe made a big correction in your favor!

There is another twist to all this that makes things even more favorable for you. Mars will tour early degrees of Virgo from now until April. Remarkably, Jupiter and Pluto will also be in early degrees of their earth signs, so together they can, and will, form a supremely benefic golden triangle of harmony, the best configuration anyone could ever hope to experience. Jupiter, planet of luck and happiness, is, as mentioned, now in your ninth house (the area I have been talking about so much, including travel, study, the courts, publishing, broadcasting, and citizenship matters), while Pluto the planet of transformation, is based in your fifth house of true love, romance, creativity, and pregnancy / children. Completing the triangle will be Mars, the action-planet that can make things happen NOW, in your first house of personal desires. Foreign people and overseas connections have to be excellent for you now, and so would any project involving publishing, broadcasting, or digital media. Your creativity will be on fire, and in love you'll be irresistible to your present partner or a new one. You see why this will be such an amazing period for you?

In love, there is MORE reason to be optimistic! Neptune, the ruler of your seventh house of marriage and commitment of all kinds, will move to direct speed on November 9, offering still another cheerful sign that you may be making a big decision involving the future of your closest relationship, whether that alliance is love or business-oriented. If you have hesitated about what you want to do next, suddenly, after November 9, you will know your own mind. Two days earlier, November 7, Mars in Leo will oppose Neptune in Aquarius, bringing important information up to the surface and providing clarity where previously there may have been mostly confusion. If you need to leave, you will know it, but if you are in love and want to be together forever, you will know that, too.

Mercury, your ruling planet is about to go retrograde on November 24 until December 13, and so you need to expect some delays. Mercury is the planet of communication and transportation, shipping and commerce / negotiation, so miscommunications may cause problems. Do not sign any papers until after December 13.

Everyone will be in the same boat, so just plan to go with the flow. This retrograde will affect you more than it might your friends of other signs because Mercury is your ruling planet. Also, this time Mercury will retrograde in Virgo, so you will notice the delays. Keep in mind that delays will benefit you, so don't try to outrun or outwit Mercury - just deal with postponements, re-dos, and backtracking as best you can. Actually, as you read this at the start of the month, you may be already experiencing delays. There is an upside to Mercury retrograde in that Mercury will put you in touch with people from your past, and you may want to reconnect and do something new together. You may also find treasures from the past - old valuable things that you assumed were lost forever sometimes show up under these phases.

If you are single and are not dating, you will enjoy having Venus in Capricorn, a fellow earth sign, from November 26 to December 19 - perfect timing for the holidays. If you can wait until mid-December to buy new clothes or to make an important change to your appearance, your timing would be ideal. Of course, you can buy small things to wear, just don't spend on a big designer outfit that costs four figures! Male or female, I would prefer you wait until Mercury is finished being retrograde on December 13 before you radically change your hair. By then you will still have six perfect days in which to improve your appearance, and with Venus staunchly guarding you, you should love the results.

If you can't wait, get busy in early November, and stay as far away from the retrograde as possible. If you were going to have plastic surgery, however, that is serious and irreversible, so I would urge you to put off having that elective procedure until sometime in the first two weeks of January. (I like January 4 and 5, and third runner up, January 6).

The big moment of the month will occur on the solar eclipse that will energize your fourth house of home and family. It will come as a new moon solar eclipse in Sagittarius, 3 degrees, on November 25. This is a friendly eclipse, so the changes are likely to be ones you had dreamed about and find exciting. Eclipses often mark major benchmark events in our lives, and this one would be no exception. You might move or soon begin a big renovation project.

Important actions involving home or other real estate often require large sums of money, and if that describes your situation, your chart suggests that the money you would need will be forthcoming. Uranus, the planet of surprise, will be beautifully oriented toward this friendly eclipse. If you need a mortgage, home improvement loan, down payment on a house, or any other funds, your chances are excellent that you will get the money, and it will show up in the most unlikely way, not in a way you expect. Or, after waiting nearly forever, suddenly you may be able to buy a house, or sell one, and the deal will have an unusual element in how it all comes together. (If your home is "under water," negotiate with banks this month - you are likely to get the answer you want by November 25, or shortly after, in the weeks that follow.)

With Venus, the planet of beauty, Mercury, your ruler, and the Sun and new moon all moving through your house of home, whatever comes up will become an instant priority for you. Venus will remain in this house almost all month, until November 25, so you will either adore your new space or make beautiful improvements to your present one. However, with Mercury retrograde, it is not a good time to buy expensive furniture or accoutrements. Wait until January if you can - stores may have sales then, too.

Holiday shopping may be a little problematic too with Mercury in retrograde from November 24 to December 13. You can buy small presents for under $200, but make sure you don't buy electronic gadgets, a computer, car, TV or kitchen or other appliances, for later you will regret your purchase. Mercury rules moving parts to machines, and when Mercury is retrograde, difficulties come up immediately or later. I would suggest you be sure to keep all receipts, just in case one of your recipients would need to make an exchange later. If you buy a gift card, photocopy the serial number and write the recipient's name on the photocopy so that you don't mix up the cards and recipients! You need to remember who received which cards! Being a Virgo is such a big plus, for you are always naturally organized.

I mentioned that your financial picture looked upbeat for home-related expenditures near the eclipse, but there are two other times in the month when other very good news should suddenly surface from banks, credit card companies, and other venues to make you smile about your burgeoning financial picture. It's also possible you may find a terrific real estate, furniture, or other bargain, or sell something of value that gets you a chunk of money.

Watch first November 3 when all news will be good news - decisions you make then should translate into profits later.

The same is true of November 22-23, when the Sun and Uranus cooperate, allowing you to see an infusion of cash you never expected to land in your lap.

The money you get on November 3, 22-23, or later, as a result of the eclipse, November 25, seems to be real estate or home oriented. Or, it may be that you receive a check from one of your parents, perhaps for a down payment on a new house, or for repairs you need to make on your present home.

One last thought: the eclipse could give you outstanding help from a family member, such as your mother or father. You may be given a check to help with a purchase you need to make, or your mom may give you a handsome piece of furniture that you've always loved that she wants you to have. Or it may be that your parents are moving to a new city that has great weather. You will be anxious to visit them there, and of course, they'll have a guest room for you! See what happens, dear Virgo!

Concerning your career: sit tight. A second eclipse is due on December 10, and it will bring important professional shifts and developments. It's a full moon lunar eclipse, so things are about to crystallize. Don't make any key moves or decisions just yet, for you will need to see what comes up before you can see the road ahead. If you need freelance work because you are not currently employed, you could easily hit on something on November 22 or 23, when Uranus and the Sun work together to bring you a surprise opportunity.

The month ends on a gorgeous note. Venus will move into Capricorn on November 26 and signal Jupiter instantly. The whole weekend of November 26-27 should be made in heaven for love and fun. Pluto will send blessings, and so will Mars - wow, dear Virgo, by all means, be sure to step out!

Summary

As November opens, travel is in the air! If you can get away, it would be good time to do so. Flying to a new destination will nourish your soul and refresh your perspective. If you have business to conduct, you can reach a pact anytime during the first ten days and expect to see great results. You are likely to flee town during the first week, and return within four days of the full moon November 10.

This particular trip seems special for it will have the power to offer life-altering insights. You seem to be thinking very big, and the profit potential of those ideas is strong. You will most likely travel to conduct business, view property, or visit family. In all cases, you will find your accommodations beautiful, even luxurious, and those you are visiting at your destination will greet you warmly.

The eclipse of November 25 will bring family matters or a domestic matter into focus, and will also likely bring you a chance to settle things soon. Be careful not to make any firm commitments while Mercury is retrograde, however, from November 24-December 13. Mercury rules your sign, making this planet doubly important to you. Any deal you sign during those weeks would need to be renegotiated or corrected later, or may even fall through completely. Finish important business by November 17.

Nevertheless, the eclipse of November 25 will bring news and interesting discussions that you may find exciting. Hold yourself back from saying too much until mid-December. You have time - you need not rush. If one opportunity disappears, another better one will come to take its place, and may actually be more suitable for you in the long run. The money or loans you may need to actualize your plans will appear at some point, possibly near November 22.

Eclipses come in pairs, so the next one, December 10, will emphasize your career. Don't decide anything until that full moon lunar eclipse has spoken. Just sit back, open the window, and see what flies in at that time. Eclipses always bring events from the outside world in to your world, over which you have no control. They shake us out of our complacency and help us see situations with fresh eyes. Sometimes they bring rare opportunity, other times, challenge, but either way, we often benefit from what occurs.

When energy planet Mars moves into Virgo from November 11 to July 3, you will come into your own. You will begin to garner support you never expected from higher ups and others who will finally see you as the star you are and have been all along. During this rare and special period, you will be thrust into a leadership position, and others will look to you for direction. You will be glad to suggest various courses of action when asked to do so, and may be amazed at how frequently your ideas are approved and acted upon by those in charge. Your mounting victories will fuel your imagination and give you the courage to offer more daring proposals, proving the old adage that nothing succeeds like success. This will be a period of high-energy and opportunities that have much promise. Take the reins - you will make quick progress. This period will last through half of 2012, until July 3, lucky you!

In romance, the last week, from November 25-30, will be a tender time of love and warmth, when Mars in Virgo will cooperate with good fortune Jupiter in Taurus and Venus and Pluto in Capricorn. Together these planets will create a grand triangle of gold, depicting rare harmony. If you are single, it seems someone has noticed you, and now you will know it for sure. At month's end, modest Virgo, even you will notice that you have become irresistible and unstoppable.

Dates to Note for Virgo

Most romantic dates: November 5, 9, 10 (full moon, gold star), 14-15, 26, and 27 (gold star).
Your love life will go into overdrive when Venus enters highly compatible Capricorn on November 26 to stay through December 19. Refresh your look with small things during this phase, but for plastic surgery or a radical hairstyle change, schedule that from December 13-19.
Mars in Virgo from November 11-July 3 puts you in the role of leader. It will be a very exciting, potent time. Mars will also make you more attractive and raise your profile - there will be a lot of fuss about you!
Watch in particular the weekend of November 26-27 for an especially romantic time.
Neptune will go direct November 11 until June 4, 2012 and improve your closest relationship in love or business (or both).
Travel would be excellent on November 16.
Financial news may be surprisingly exciting and upbeat: November 10-11, and very much so on November 22-23.
Mercury will be retrograde: November 24-December 13. Sign no contracts, and buy no expensive items.
November 16 will also be excellent day for real estate, contracting, decorating, and other home matters. The eclipse of November 25 will be even more important (see below).
The eclipse of November 25 could bring some exciting news about your home or other real estate, or help you with a matter involving a parent.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

KD: alright i read the first line of the monthly on that site and am welling up with tears. the last 4 years have been really, extraordinarily difficult. ive been really alone, and trying to figure everything out on my own while everything and anything would backfire and go kersplat.

DM: Yes, it's been hard for Virgos, but the past is past. right now, please remember how strong you've become and how you still managed to hold up despite all the cosmic shit.

Now, after four years of hiding your head from the hail, the hard part may be opening your eyes and seeing the sun shine because you may be focused on expecting the worst. I never felt more alive than when I was unemployed for five months back in 2008. I used the time to start building my personal brand of oddness.

The payoff came when HuffPost came a calling because I was doing something no one else could do. At least not like me. Yes, I took a crappy PR job but I kept my eye on the prize. C'mon kid, it's your time. Get out there and show 'em how it's done.

KD: i mean, do you mean writing or jobs in general? because really, what am i showing them i'm doing? i know i'm eclectic and good at many different things.

DM: Do something that shows who you are.

Well, so far I thank the Universe for David Moye, and Jesse Alson.

abba-zaba-zoo

2011-10-31T15:05:00.001-04:00

After the copious amount of sleep obtained through going to bed super early last night, I am very thrilled to say, my leg officially feels well enough to get back to work!!! I called a bunch of restaurants I had previously applied to today... it's either:
a. I get one of those waitressing gigs mentioned
b. macys call center interview wednesday
c. find a smaller business venture in Dunedin to work for (all the restaurants in category A are bigger chains, and I'm really anti-corporate and would rather work for someone who needs the help)

My friend from college, Jessica, lives a town OVER from me... we finally hung out last week and have already gotten together a couple times. It has made me feel exponentially better about everything... so great to have a close friend. She really wants to help me get me back on my feet, has been scouting out cheap rents around Dunedin - meeting her boyfriend and roommate was pretty awesome, they all want to open a pizza/pastry shop (because those two things in Florida are MUY TERRIBLE, or non-existent) so I naturally, offered my waitressing expertise.

Going through constant realizations lately... one being, I truly enjoyed waitressing and serving... was just unfortunate to be suffering from leg pain and exhaustion. Now I'm ready and rearing to go - it's time to rev my 'Hot Wheels' engine (spent all day yesterday reminiscing 2004 - which was Patrice, me, my car, and the three neighboring states as our playground, all of our debauchery and diabolically fantastic adventures.)

I think it's impossible for me to figure out a career. I just like stumbling onto things as I go. Is that really so bad?

new plans are hatchin'

2011-10-30T20:33:00.003-04:00

my momma got me two new presents on the cruise! <3

going to give out candy tomorrow night for all the lil' chitlins!

whatta cute lil' ditty.

2011-10-30T15:41:00.001-04:00

iron and wine

2011-10-30T13:23:00.001-04:00

Have had such a zest for life right now I haven't been sleeping, I'm healed enough for moderate movement. Simba and I are old geezers when we're walking... but he's so majestic little kids come up and meet him, and then they run away grossed out from the bag of poop being carried in my hand. 14 x 7 = Simba is 98 in dog years! He's silly though, I was letting him inside after hanging outside on the porch drawing, he got so rambunctious he tried to blast through the glass door without thinking... he definitely enjoyed his Sunday shuffle, as rebellious as he is. He glances at rules like, 'oh fuck you. I was rejected by a family after 10 years of training me to replace me with a puppy. Those bastards! You're a gimp though, I'll comply.'

My leg propped on the couch is so perfect right now, random songs on the shuffle. theme of the moment: everyday i'm shufflin'

Garfield wants that silly Odie to come lick her on the side of the face all drooly like. 

Goofing off on Chatroulette is probably one of my new favorite things. Getting to be a goofy ass mofo and making people smile... and saying hello good Sundays to people all over the world! 

My heart is beating finally. I forgot it was there for a while.

shmeagal the seagull

2011-10-27T07:29:00.000-04:00

pictures taken (by me, except for the one of me!)

at clearwater beach, october 25th, 2011.

(shmeagal the seagull not documented in pictorial format)

early morning mix part tres

2011-10-27T05:32:00.000-04:00

insomnia mix part deux

2011-10-27T04:51:00.000-04:00

--------------------------------------------------------
and holy h-balls, this (unfortunate) two parter is uh-mazing!

Misc late night mix

2011-10-27T04:23:00.000-04:00

& I am a writer, writer of fictions!

2011-10-25T03:49:00.000-04:00

indubitably so.

2011-10-24T13:46:00.002-04:00

peaceful easy feeling

2011-10-23T16:04:00.000-04:00

My mother and her hubby left for a weeklong 

cruise yesterday early morning, 

so I had a nice evening; 

got to videochat with Odie, 

which made me all like this:

Then after a wonderful sleep in, 

decided to make a loaded omelette 

listening to Nico's Chelsea Girl album, 

and ate it on the lovely screened in backporch:

And I made miscellaneous recordings of the wind blowing, birds chirping, and other random sounds while the album was playing, which I'm posting different versions of here:

http://soundcloud.com/thirteenpearls

now...

listening to the blues bros!

which would be a brilliant halloween duo idea.

IF ONLY I HAD SOMEONE HERE TO BE IT WITH!

(not that i'm doing anything anyways.)

marc bolan wannabe?

2011-10-20T16:41:00.001-04:00

kimono my house!

2011-10-20T15:13:00.000-04:00

introducing...

2011-10-20T03:01:00.000-04:00

my very own version of David.

bang bang!

2011-10-19T01:04:00.000-04:00

Famous Cartoon Voices

2011-10-19T00:44:00.000-04:00

Part Three is here but the embedding was disabled: CLICK here!

Jeromino!

2011-10-16T23:31:00.001-04:00

jerome, az

anonymous is hungry

2011-10-16T18:05:00.000-04:00

picture i'm currently drawing

miss artsy fartsy