Photo Cred: Conrad Akier
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -Dave Barry
Ice cream parlors love to gloat about carrying 32 flavors of the sweetest, creamiest, best-loved concoction of the junk food world. For beer lovers, what about a bar with a selection of 32 of the most satisfying ales and lagers on tap, rotating constantly? Is it revolutionary? Unrealistic? Of course not; this beer euphoria exists within the walls of Eli Cannons Tap Room in Middletown, Connecticut.
Snugly nestled on 695 Main Street, many would be flabbergasted to know that the Elis building was once Middletown's city morgue in the 1800s. The morgue was renovated into a bar later that century, but it wasn't until 14 years ago that the building got the treatment it so desperately needed to become a success. Proudly stating "Saving the Ales," Eli Cannons is dedicated to customer satisfaction, hot food, nostalgic atmosphere and above all, cold frosty beer.
Before entering Eli Cannons, one stops to marvel at its interesting outward appearance. The "it's not just any bar" feeling is evident in the multi-colored lights that shine brilliantly on the tap room's banner. An over abundance of neon fluorescent beer signs are displayed in every nook and cranny of the windows, and big boisterous flags fly above the entrance.
Stepping inside, people are introduced to not only its friendly bartenders and servers, but also to the Irish/English pub/American trailer park fusion of decor. The term "too much of a good thing" does not apply here, as that is the theme of Eli Cannons. People can sit in antique barber chairs, theater seats and leather couches, or just take a traditional seat at the bar. Hundreds of mugs hang from the ceiling as you catch glimpses of the randomly placed TV screens with everything on from old Japanese films to concerts and sports.
Classic and alternative rock fills the building and keeps everyone's toes tapping. If the weather is permitting, one can visit the Beer Garden of Eden, aka their beautiful, large and spacious back deck/patio, surrounded by tall shrubs, trees and flowers. Got the beer munchies? Help yourself to some popcorn from the old-fashioned popper as you drink your beer and enjoy the fresh air.
But what about the beer, right? How does Eli Cannons carry 32+ beers on tap?
"It's definitely expensive," said Carrie Roberts, Eli Cannons general manager. "They aren't too hard to acquire; microbreweries have grown in popularity and we are widely known for featuring them."
What about the macro brews, like Coors, Budweiser or Miller?
"We do not carry macros," Roberts proudly replied. It's understandable, too. For a place that cherishes individuality, normality would be a sin.
Eli Cannons is so well-known and treasured by microbreweries that they seek out Eli's continually for their support. On Tuesdays and select Thursdays, Eli's holds beer tastings featuring a different brewery every week. People get to enjoy two of the brewery's featured beers on tap as they collect free beer gear, such as t-shirts and key chains.
Special events are a major part of Elis constant effort to keep the public involved and informed of their favorite brews. Every year, Elis holds a Mardi Gras party on Fat Tuesday.
"It's huge, and totally wild," Roberts said with a big grin.
Other events include St. Patrick's Day, the night before Thanksgiving and pig roasts, and people can even book the bar for special parties. What could possibly be better than having a bar to yourself and your friends?
Beer aside, for a bar to have a good rep, it must serve excellent food; Eli's dinners and finger foods are downright exceptional.
"Everything is made fresh here," said Roberts. Eli's boasts the tastiest nachos and has an eclectic menu that is constantly growing. Dishes have unique names like the Zukonions - a plate of the most deliciously fried onions and zucchini that one will ever have the pleasure of experiencing.
Eli's features their own products as well. Displayed near the dining room section is a wall of over 50 different kinds of hot sauces, bottled on the premises or made my other brands. Microbreweries also collaborate with Eli's to make their own trademarked beers. Brooklyn Brewery helped create Eli's Bug Spray Ale, and Harpoon helped with Apache Attack Ale.
This isn't an overexaggeration. Eli Cannons is one of the best bars to experience in Connecticut - perhaps it's number one. It's obvious in Connecticut magazines; Eli Cannons Tap Room has won 10 Hartford Advocate Reader's Choice Awards, three Connecticut Magazine's "Best Of" Awards and The Malt Advocate Magazine's "Best Beer Menu (National)" Award. The public does not lie; once you arrive, you simply do not want to leave.
Eli Cannons is only about a 20-minute drive from CCSU's campus, and the prices won't empty your pockets. So, instead of drinking a disgusting red cup of cheap beer on Thursday nights, go somewhere actually worth enjoying.
Eli's website: http://www.elicannons.com/
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