Wednesday, November 2, 2016

DUMBA$$3$

REALLY TIRED OF PEOPLE ROPING ME INTO THEIR OWN MISFORTUNES.
IM SO EASY TO BLAME, BEING THE BLONDE LONG HAIRED POT SMOKING SOLO CHEF.
SAYING I'M DELUSIONAL?!!!! I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH DUMBASSES LIKE YOURSELVES. IVE BEEN DONE...?!!!???
STOP BEING STEREOTYPICAL AS FUCK AND OWN UP TO YOUR OWN FUCKING BULLSHIT, DOUCHEBOYS.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

feeling feelings i havent felt in a freaking long time. missing earlier times crazily, a decade ago those people around me on that campus in NB, I will never forget thee. that newspaper, those amazing roommates, that wonderful boyfriend, the best friends I ever had. I will always love you guys. Sorry I'm so crazy, just please know, I will always, always, always, appreciate the shiiiiiiit outta all ya'll.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

O__O

Random blog update. It's really late. Tried taking something to fall asleep. instead having hallucinations of creepy black satiny wisps of shape shifty spirits running back and forth on the floor between my bed and the radiator. It could just be one singular creepy mini babadook. :[ Also rather unfortunate: in this current state of being, am noticing how badly the wall I press my back against in bed shakes with the 91 overpass right outside my window. oh, and I realized I suck for not even trying to write anymore, even if it's sufferin' bowl of succotash. so, in this and thwarted attempts at sleep to come, I'll just write about what fucking sucks. Like the rumbly feelings of the semis passing will one day just crumble it to the ground, because the house rumbled all the damn long day and night. Or one will go careening off of the overpass one day and fly right into this place. It reminds me of having the highway outside of my window of the SECOND house I lived in, in Glastonbury, and all the sleepless nights I had there. The internet was so much more fun in high school... people would actually chat longer than five minutes. If you can get five... these days. this is also where I'll admit, I've got some thoughts cooking up my sleeve. Actual legitimate creative endeavors. Can't say anything more because I will never let myself jinx myself ever again by telling anyone what I aim to accomplish - it always sets me up for failure - and there is nothing stopping me now. yes, I will have these shitty fucking days where I stay in bed practically the entire two days off because my body is mentally/physically scrapped (and due to the resurgence of colder weather, everything hurts) but it's also in these days I think the most, especially when I'm trying to heal myself out of the wreck I used to be. Still having not so great moments once in a while, and drinking less at night means serious struggles with sleep (used to rely on heavy amounts to put me TO sleep) ... it will be a never-ending battle; at my best have found myself enjoying a few miller high lifes, and all's well. I'd like to have some of the calm, creative, social confidences I once had back... they'd pair well with my newer ones. Hopefully this can be some sort of starting point. I need to get out of my head.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Friday, November 20, 2015

the end of 2015.

I'm as free as a bird.....










in this world I cannot change.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

CALL THE PO-LIIIICEEEEE; we built this city on human legs

NEW POST  NEW POST NEW POST !!!!!!!!!!

HI WORLD, I'M STILL ALIVE!

incredible, right? 

currently in the midst of getting back to independent life, 
after my amazing awesome friend helped get me back on my feet after even more problematic bullshit in my life, aka had a mystery diagnosis 2.0 which turned out to be SEVERAL allergies (including one to my cat :( but love him so much that I'm taking precautionary measures to cope) I will be moving back into New Haven after having lived a brief stint in East Haven.... which I had moved into after my first apartment back up in New England had a bad case of the black molds, another allergy of mine.

what the fuck am I doing with my life, you might ask?
a severe re-structuring of myself. now that I've rid myself of things that have sufficiently bogged me down for YEARS and YEARS, the path is a little more clearer, not completely, but I'm going to work my ass off so I can succeed without 'needing' anyone else's help. Turning 30 in September will solidify the fact that I need to get back on my horse and get serious. Write and create more, power walk my ass off, you get the picture. ass, ass, ass.


so this means there might actually be more documentation of THIS SO CALLED 'LIFE???!'
yes, yes. stay tuned.


random article of the day?
human legs were found in my city. they were reported to police, but took police TWO DAYS to go check'em'out.

http://www.wfsb.com/story/29555029/pd-human-legs-found-in-new-haven#.VaayUAmnljo.facebook

Saturday, April 25, 2015

"When bullies grow up, they get meaner, yeah, they really get it down."

Sunday, February 1, 2015

you wanted to see just how good it feels (to leave)


Sunday, November 2, 2014

“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.” ― Ernest Hemingway

Thursday, October 30, 2014

everything is overrated.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Stag

hate the police

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Psycho Tropical Berlin

Safe as Milk

Sunday, December 15, 2013

mid-December

oh-muh-godiez, hullo blergh! I'z been livin' back up in the northern region for almost two and a half months, and while it's good to be back, it certainly has not been easy. ghetto superstar modern day suffragette really isn't as cool as it sounds, but I've always had some sorta knack for making due with menial amounts of moolah (it buildeth character) no matter where I crop up (every few years or so.) while the general public of downtown new haven is a little, shall we say, 'too much to handle' sometimes, the friends (new and old) that I've surrounded myself/confided in up here might very well be the best support system cultivated in quite some time, as most who know me have watched me battle all the demons/hazy cloudiness that has been my life since '08-'09. fortunately enough after a recent pain-ful/filled event, Karyn has (finally, took ya long enough) gained an actual, legit perspective on winning back her happiness and confidence, and here's a GIANT element that has been finally laid to rest: ditching the whole 'looking for love' thing. Wasting time on finding happiness and contentment through a guy/relationship is the last thing necessary right now; having one close guy and girl friend, a puggle, and my cat -- is currently what keeps me anchored. ......it's cold as shit & am currently in the midst of the first snowstorm experience since winter three years ago, but slowly and surely (by the way, Shirley, they're remaking Naked Gun. Sending you my sincerest apologies, Mr. Nielsen...) crawling my way back to the saner individual I know I've been before, and can be again.

 
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