uncomfortably numb.

This is my pickley pickle.

- Housing situation.
- Hit by car, but okay.
- got let go of work, seasonal cutback.
- Financially... ?
- Where to go from here?
- Must be strong and figure this out myself...?

Waitressing is finito, secretarial job in high demand. (I highly demand it, to find one however...)

I think all these events are trying to tell me something... I'm trying to listen.

yerple nerple.

[Don Aliff]
12:40am

that's good to hear. you always did that well
i haven't written anything since i've broken my hand

[You]
12:41am

:( i had to learn how to write with a broken hand in 1st grade
and succeeded!

[Don Aliff]
12:41am

well done!

[You]
12:41am

yeah, a bully knocked me down on a skating rink and i landed on it funny

[Don Aliff]
12:42am

little bastard

[You]
12:42am

i think he sadistically liked to see me cry, looking back on it now

[Don Aliff]
12:42am

find him and kill him

[You]
12:43am

i took my treasure trolls to school and he'd rip their hair out

[Don Aliff]
12:43am
yeah, sounds like your theory is spot on

[You]
12:43am

and chase me on the playground, to which my 1st grade crush chased after him to save me

[Don Aliff]
12:43am

chivalry is still alive and well in the young

[You]
12:44am

the crush was waiting at the side of the rink when the collision happened and he 'examined' it like a doctor when i went over to him and was like, 'yep, i think it's broken'
he also signed his name with a heart below it on my hot pink cast

[Don Aliff]
12:45am
smart kid, find him and marry him!

[You]
12:45am

he vanished the day before 1st grade ended and i never saw him again

[Don Aliff]
12:46am

you got a short story there. write it down

[You]
12:46am

it was... simple love.
and i still got to laugh at his underwear when he'd bend over - and he was okay about it. muahaha.

[Don Aliff]
12:47am

haha

[You]
12:48am

i want to imagine that he didn't think i was very aware of time because he got me a hip plastic watch for christmas

[Don Aliff]
12:48am

puppy love. cute

[You]
12:48am

obviously wrapped by his mom with his school picture on top
so suave

[Don Aliff]
12:49am

that's smoove
not smooth
smoove
i remember in kindergarten some girl called me handsome

[You]
12:50am

you know what would be nuts? if i could somehow, go out on a limb, call and ask my old elementary school in Dayton, Ohio if they would disclose any information about him... I've even asked old friends there if they'd ever seen him since - and no... he was gone

[Don Aliff]
12:51am

i was elated, butterflies in my stomache, all the cliches

[You]
12:51am

well that girl sounds awesome

[Don Aliff]
12:51am

and then i didn't talk to her again all year because i was shy, but in my mind she was my girlfriend haha

[You]
12:51am

aw.

Ay.

This is what happens when you decide to orchestrate some 'considerably happy and upbeat' updates for the world so they're unaware of my current fear of everything but fear. Of course, this was my little 'thought bubble' on facebook where you can put anything your little heart desires, and boy when does my trap shut? Wait scratch that - my fingers want to write something. If this is the only 'BS' I can get out, well everyone can suck it, I'm going to say what I want to say. (I really don't mean that. It'd always be nice to be a little bit more badass.)

"The most glorious rice risotto with two kinds of mushrooms (1up x ?) is in mi estomago, which shook as i laughed at really funny shows and drank LIQUID COOKIES and looked at the best book ever that had things on cats and planted a bottle cap on elliot's heat and he wore it ever so proudly and I get to babysit him soon and our epic journey will be foretold and will be somewhat considerably better than Homeward Bound. but where we run to - no one will know. oh and Gaby and I are going to make a show?"


It's 12:32 America, and where are you?

Dreams...

I was seduced by a much older man in my dream last night - completely obsessed, he goes back to his wife, once he sees me again with his wife by his side, he goes mad - yells at me saying 'why did you let me go back to her she's so boring (his wife)' has a creepy gleam in his eye, and shoots me in my right arm. And then I wake up.

Seriously, my dreams are outrageous.