Friday, November 19, 2010

Welcome back, hazelnut coffee.

"Are you absolutely one hundred percent sure?" is a question that surfaces within the sea. It's very unlike me to be sitting at a solo small table downstairs of an incredibly chattery coffee shop at 10am - having not had the courage (nor drive) to be scribbling in public since the summertime. Lately all I've been jotting down is running to-do lists, like this most recent one:
"2pm today I will bludgeonly attempt a temp agency appointment - don't give up or be lazy - wisely monitor your drinking habits in the name of your monetary finances - give people the benefit of the doubt..."
In another corner a gentleman with a British accent pipes up about 'writing circuses' and 'art and media and trend-based' mumbo jumbo.
Ooh, now I'm being instantiated with tales of Copernicus and Galileo - why don't I do this more often? Maybe parents and elders had more than one meaning in mind when they told us to 'be seen and not heard,' not just our automatic response to talk back, or to be downright obnoxious.
This is surprising me at the moment - to calmly sit in a corner - almost puffing my chest up somewhat - as still as a praying mantis infiltrating another flock of praying manti (that sounds comical) what is this that I am realizing? My self confidence, even after all these weeks of absolute craziness in the cabeza, has been increasing exponentially?
Something is helping me bust out of my seams. I've handwritten this page with such fastidious fervour and gusto, that if any of these folks with their comrades, co-workers, or clients were to look up they'd see that I have been bitten by something so ravenous and extreme that I resemble a sturdy - yet psychotic - mad woman who seriously does not know what the hell she is doing but is pushing towards the future. in the nicest thought possible. with one pinkie up.

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