Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"Damn! It's about time that someone puts the decorum back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, playas!"

A brilliant 'review' on Amazon.com of The Obamas:

'Let's give it up for Barry and Michelle, playas! Now, can you dig that, sucka?!'
by Hassan Z. Brockovich Sr.

"I just came back from one of the last, few, Occupy-Wall Street rallies that are still being held across the U.S. in their final pockets of resistance, but while I was protesting my bleeding heart out, I managed to also get in some light reading because I had an advance copy of The Obamas, Kantor's fine new book. Now, while the reading was a little, tiny bit heavy for me because there were no brightly colored pictures as well as really big print for me to focus on easily, I still managed to enjoy this flattering portrait of America's first, color-breaking family of blacks in the White House.

Kantor is a brilliant author, and this shows in how she is able to very vividly paint a breathtaking account of what a real first family and first marriage is all about--unlike that no good George W. Bush, with all his Christianity, praying and humility (that librarian wife of his was no prize either, lemme tell ya). But The Obamas really in my mind epitomized why Barack and Michelle have single-handedly succeeded in making America that "shining city on the hill" again after Dubya p i s s e d all over it from 2000 to 2008.

For one, unlike that Bushhitler, Barry and Michelle are extremely, extremely humble and low-key, which is EXACTLY what the American people still suffering 9% unemployment (and 17% real unemployment if you count those poor souls who just quit looking for work altogether) expect from their great leaders, after all! I think that this humble attitude of Barry's and Michelle's was shown no better than in their very concealed and hidden 2009 "Alice in Wonderland" extravaganza where they threw an elaborate partay for Johnny Depp (Mr. Gilbert Grape) and Tim Burton while Michelle was keeping it real in sexay leopard costume, rowr!!

I praise Barry and Michelle for concealing this from the American public all this time because they knew exactly that all Americans (even those black people who voted for Obama just because he is black, too) would be very angry at them for living it up while the rest of the country is in the POOR HOUSE. So the cover-up by the Obama Administration of this sweet shindig was obviously a way of them showing their respect and humility to all the other Americans who could not and still cannot afford to live that large. Again, what amazing and saintly humanity from Barry and Michelle, unlike that Dubya bad guy whose idea of "humanity" was to k i l l some Muslims!

I also enjoyed how Kantor's book took a real look at how Barry and Michelle brought back decorum to the White House again! After that Bush h i t l e r ruined all of America's decorum by saying profane phrases like F *** S a d d a m before liberating the Iraqis and calling the NYT misrepresentation machine Adam Clymer a major-league *** h o l e, I'm glad that Barry and M o o c h e l l e are setting the bar higher. Again, Kantor is kind enough to include an example that illustrates this perfectly. For example, how about the remarkable time when WH spokesman/press secretary Robert Gibbs (now working at your local fast food place) used the F-word when speaking to Valerie Jarrett about Michelle Obama?! I know, right?!?! When I read that wonderful passage, I was like, "Damn! It's about time that someone puts the decorum back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, playas!" And with that example, Barry and Michelle sure as hell did.

In sum, I urge you to go out and buy this book because it will show you that Barry and Michelle are 100% superior than Dubya and Laura, hell than any conservatives or Republicans in the history of the U.S. Since Obama is doing an absolutely fantastic job of saving the U.S. economy from the death imposed on it by Bush h i t l e r--which can be seen in Obama masterfully lowering the unemployment rate to a barely better 8.5% from the already awesome 8.7% of a month ago--it is obvious that you now have a lot of money in your pocket. After all, you got 0.02% jobs back, playa! So what are you waiting for? Give back to Barack and Michelle some of the money they have already ensured that you have thanks to extended unemployment benefits, and show them how much you appreciate them giving you welfare by buying their book.

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