wino, eesay wi-i-ino...

Many apologies with the lack of update... hopefully by the next week or so we'll be getting our own internets so the awkward feeling I'm experiencing from writing this in the library can fortunately go by the wayside (and then can experience the luxury of snuggling with my new down comforter and writing my daily exploits)
Creativity has been booming. It's all bubbling up every which way and I'm trying to get all of the ideas down on paper... once my computer capabilities are restored I can get on the ball with everything I want to accomplish.
I'm missing everyone a lot lately, and the cold weather... my father and stepmother will be visiting in February... as for what is going to happen on Christmas, it may just end up like Thanksgiving. Quiet, but delectable.
My roommate and I are a particularly peculiar pairing. What was sparked due to his adoration with BBC programming and a law office we pass on our daily epic journey through three towns to my cafe, Peebles and Gracy, we're determined to make our own sitcom of sorts. Except I be dah exact opposite of GRACE, yanno.
The predatory wasp of the palisades was stuck in our window today. but just like THAT, he escape artist'd that shit.

Photos and more commentary will be available in future entries, but for now, 'dis boat needs to keep paddlin' along this momentous monday of miscellanous milling about margarita-land. (jest... tarpon is luckily too sleepy of a greek town for those ridiculous parrotheadfreakos.)

drugstore cowboy

matt dillon is in town makin' a film.

he ate the food i made at the cafe yesterday...

hopefully he comes back for the duration of his stay!

Thanks dudes & dudettes...

Have been working and been exhausted... have a day off tomorrow and hope to start some sort of manatee comic... so stay tuned and I love you all! <3

stroll through the society of sponge

some dainty sunday photos I took on my excursion through town:

and silly pictures i've spawned:

photographs of tarpon continued

these obviously taken by me, 

BUT! more photos taken HERE 

by mr. christopher bishop, my roommate.

photographs of tarpon

my kitchen ala sharpy version

greek 'taj mahal' from my kitchen window

me on some clouds

reflections of the bayou

manatee nose

hai.

communication breakdown

Not sure what exactly is supposed to be happening right now, but I've been having a nice time hanging out with my roommate when I'm not working. We've hung out and talked to different monkeys at a monkey sanctuary, hanging out with manatees at the bayou, watching random shows, cartoons, and movies (last ones being Black Books, Betty Boop, and The Third Man.) Holiday mumbo jumbo is getting me completely grinchy unfortunately, I can't succumb to this bullshit anymore... it's gotten so pukeworthy I wish the technology from 'Eternal Sunshine' was readily available just to delete the word 'Christmas' with a nice slice of silence.
Re-activated Facebook only because when I called my father on my OWN new line, he told me to. Weird to me, as I tried to tell him about how much drama the thing accrues and is instigated, contorted, reverberated to miserable extents. I've been without the internet. I've been quiet as a pin. And to have my father tell me I need to coincide with this evil. I reluctantly said okay, and have been occasionally updating it from my phone.
Just really don't feel like I have anything to say to anyone right now. Especially those who will listen to everyone elses accounts of what's going on with me when they know absolutely nothing. We all got our own shit to deal with, and what better way then to tune out.
Been spending a lot of time singing in my new place; might start just trying to record shit.

snug as a bug.

sitting at a most perfect ambient dimly lit coffee shop sitting at a small cute table with a candle flickering, looking upon the youth of tarpon springs as they prepare themselves for a night of several acts. the musical selection before mic check seemed to fit snugly into the situation. have been able to actually initiate contact with a few of the bystanders. now some kid is playing radiohead on a keyboard. yes, he is singing karma police. oh boy. oh, that was just the soundcheck? now they're trying to fool.

perfect life.

sorry about the long hiatus.


i am:

officially out of my mothers place,
living in a small greek sponge diving town with my quote unquote new boyfriend who is taking super good care of me... he is from georgia, has toured with neutral milk hotel and recorded julian kosters side project (but julian apparently owes him 400 bucks for it. and informed me that he's totally gay... how I slept in the same place as him and had breakfast with him, and strangely enough couldn't even guess it. the tight sweater may have been a hint.)
working at my cafe in clearwater with my amazing new family, chris drives me there and i take an hour long bus ride back.
my thanksgiving consisted of cuddling to betty boop cartoons, walking to the sponge docks, and basically loving the shit out of my life right now. everything is going perfectly finally and i thank my lucky stars. (and mars.)

past, present, future talk

Yesterday: Today during the day you may feel like being alone with your thoughts and feelings. Your mood is not usually bad or depressed, you simply desire to be calm and reflective. But you are probably not in the mood for frivolity. You prefer the company of serious people, if any, and you want the conversation to be about important topics. Under this influence you may feel the need to consult someone whose higher vantage point you respect. You are able to balance your emotional needs with your sense of duty and obligation. While you are aware of your feelings, you do not let them overwhelm you. In all proceedings you are thrifty and careful. You are also very careful and thorough in your approach to any kind of work now. It is not likely that you will have to do any task over, nor will anyone else have to clean up after you. 

Today:  During the day you will feel much more emotional than usual. This, of course, can be either good or bad, depending upon how you normally relate to your emotions. If you are ill at ease with your feelings, you will not consciously be aware of them. But you will relate to people in automatic ways, conditioned by habit. You will respond unconsciously to small cues put out by other persons that neither you nor they are aware of. The problem here is that you are unable to see each new moment and person afresh. On the other hand, if you can handle the emotions that are aroused, you will be able to relate to others with great feeling and empathy. This influence is excellent for occasions when you and another person must relate at a very deep, intense level. 

Tomorrow: During this time, you will have many group discussions and conversations with others; you will meet new people, possibly travel quite a bit and certainly have more contact with relatives and immediate neighbors.You feel that you have to communicate with as many people as possible. This is a very good time for all kinds of intellectual activities. It is not a good time to try to settle down and relax. The tempo of events in your environment is likely to be too fast, and it will be difficult to avoid getting caught up in it. Nevertheless you should try sometimes to disconnect yourself from this frantic pace, because it may get to the point that you are continually distracted and unable to think properly. For this reason it is not the best time to try to reach a conclusion on some matter. 

(astro.com)

on a quick note.

No longer at my mothers.

On my own path.

Don't worry about me,

I'll be just fine.

unchained

out of my cage, ready to see. what on earth will ensue, beats the hell outta me.

but longed for still.

The free bird leaps

on the back of the win

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wings

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with fearful trill

of the things unknown

but longed for still

and is tune is heard

on the distant hillfor the caged bird

sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze

an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

you got the power...

"I'm just like butter in your hands!"

uh-gagagagagagaga.

yippie skippie

got to enjoy the late eve before a day off with a new friend from france named steven, we escapaded in his jeep wrangler last night and went to his awesome pad on the private part of clearwater beach, hung out on his balcony having brilliant conversation while enjoying the tantalizing view of the ocean, waves crashing, lightning out in the distance. it was remarkable. he said he was quite on his own, needing a friend, and I concurred needing the same, and so we just chitchatted away. was supposed to hang out with a new friend from st. pete but rescheduled, just really needed a somewhat calm evening after tripping/falling at work yesterday (kitchen was overloaded with boxes for the jazz fest our owner is running/catering) and getting bit by a spider. I have plenty of time to hang out with all my new buddies... and I'm so excited to do so!

fuck it.

i will always be single.

working 12 hour days five days a week now will 

keep me occupied from any crazy impulsive 

thoughts of things that will never ever happen. 

yo momma

oh innuendo...

I'M ALRIGHT!

SAW STYX PLAY AT AN OUTDOOR FEST! OH MY GOD WHAT A SHOW. got to get up front, up close and personal & jammed with some awesome people. they (the band) were all so studly, and i swear that tommy shaw and i shared a moment! confetti rained down during 'rockin' the paradise' (one of the two encores, the other being renegade) also played lady, too much time on my hands, come sail away... and this one, which I've decided to dedicate to myself.



also while sitting on the ledge of the bay, two dolphins were twirling around underneath me... no one else was around except another guy who witnessed it, and said 'i think they want to make you their queen.' DOLPHIN QUEEN!


so going to buy tix for the CHEAP TRICK NEW YEARS EVE PERFORMANCE!

11/11/11

Me: 9 min till a good wish! (for the 11:11pm, which I already made an AM)
Jay Majerowski: i already made one :) but i made it for the entire world..... so this one will be the personal one
Me: aw you made the AM one already?
Jay Majerowski: yeap i did it for world something... can't tell you because it wont come true


especially excited for what's to come after this day of hopeful haiku.

LEG STORY: SUCCINCT VERSION

While most who know me knows damn well what happened already, I still get questioned by others constantly. here is the quickest, longest answer I've been able to pull out of my buttcrack:

I had a bad leg injury two years ago... was 'carrying a box'* as heavy as i almost, lost balance, landed onto the cement under my right knee (with the extra weight) ... thought it was just bruised but it stayed bruised and sore for weeks... pain kept advancing throughout the months and i went to the hospital twice (first alone, they didnt take me seriously, second with a co-worker helping me voice what was wrong, still didnt get taken seriously).. was living on my own and supporting myself but was doing hardcore food service jobs and it was killing me... was trying to troop it out but i'd get let go of each place after about 5 months or so... basically the owners would let me go because they could see something was wrong and would express that i shouldnt be doing such jobs in such condition but I had no choice. the pain was driving me to drink like a fish to cope and I basically was a very easily irritable, depressed, hurt person. when I eventually got let go of the last place I worked for up north, my mom finally heard my plea of 'I can't go on' --- so moving down here, I finally got the help I needed... she helped me figure it out, was helping me be persistent with these shitheads of doctors who try to give you a run around and no answer (but still expecting a bill... like the first ortho who said i didnt need surgery after I got the MRI clearly indicating I had three ganglion cysts deep in the back of my right leg which at the two year point last september, i was experiencing #10 pain [on the scale of 1-10] and crying in agony most of the time... second one exclaimed 'the first one told you you didnt need it? really?' and was the one who conducted the surgery....... anyways... thats what happened. first job involving working hard and being on my feet for 12 hours = a lot for the newly healed leg to take... but I think it's holding up.


Ah, glad I won't be explaining that anymore. whoever asks gets redirected here.


*only people who know me will understand why this is asterik'd.

baracky the puppet

or insomnia will reign supreme and i'll watch things that re-remind me of how fucked up everything is.



MH: what are you up to?
KD: freaking out at the global state of affairs, you know
MH: I hear ya, I have my moments too
KD: ugh. what do we do.
MH: No one knows. Things have snowballed out of control, I honestly haven't the slightest.
KD: i wish i could get a huge following overnight so i could tour the country and talk to audiences and tell them to wake the hell up. and id probably be assassinated but thats the price im willing to pay.
MH: No one wants to hear it. no one wants to hear anything these days. foot in mouth and head up asshole.
KD: yeah, the corporate subliminal messaging is being proven quite effective. not on me thank god.
MH: good.

really? REALLY?

spending entire days walking all 

over creation job-hunting equals

handgun slinging.